"NOT OF THE SAME WORLD" - a play (full text).
NOT OF THE
SAME WORLD
GIAYEETOR DUMBARI PATAH
SYNOPSIS OF THE PLAY
The play, “Not of the Same World,” tells the awe-inspiring and emotion-filled story of Maid 2, christened Barivure at birth, a Bara-Eesaa Kingdom local palace maid, who secures at the eleventh hour, the love of Prince Raphael, the crown prince, who is on the verge of marrying the gorgeous Princess Gold of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom, his known fiancée. The decision is vehemently kicked against by his power-drunk and extremely class-conscious royal parents, who make life a living hell for the maid. Prince Raphael, upon discovering the qualities that he personally treasures in the maid, whisks her off from the apparently-building inferno, elopes with her and trains her as a consultant cardiac surgeon, who disguisely treats the ailing king of his multiple cardiac complications to his surprise. The king, Gberemene Kabaka, and the queen, Queen Biabekee, upon discovering that the same maid that they callously treated, is the same person that saves the life of the dying king, passes through a ne’er-seen and an unprecedented remorse and make worthwhile and public
CAST
HRH, GBEREMENE LONGINUS F. NENGIAA KABAKA IX - King of Bara Eesaa Kingdom.
QUEEN BIABEKEE LONGINUS F. NENGIAA KABAKA - The Queen (Vamene) – King’s Wife of Bara Eesaa Kingdom.
PRINCE RAPHAEL MENEBE LONGINUS KABAKA - Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa Kingdom.
HRH, GBEREMENE CALLISTUS W. POPGBARA ZOORELE BAADOM - King of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom.
PRINCESS GOLD GIOBIA CALLISTUS ZOORELE BAADOM - The Princess of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom.
CHIEF KOBAA - First Chief (Prime Minister) of Bara Eesaa Kingdom.
CHIEF TOMII - Second Chief (Secretary/ Chief Logistics Officer) of Bara Eesaa Kingdom.
CHIEF LEGEDU - Third Chief (Treasurer) of Bara Eesaa Kingdom.
CHIEF AGBIDUM - Fourth Chief (Chief Security Adviser) of Bara Eesaa Kingdom.
LADY K - “Vamene’s” Special Friend.
SCORPION - Royal Guard 1.
BULLET - Royal Guard 2.
DANGA - Royal Guard 3.
HIPPO - Royal Guard 4.
AATOR - Royal Maid 1.
BARIVURE - Royal Maid 2.
ADOMALE - Royal Maid 3.
LEVIGA - Royal Maid 4.
KOOMAGA - Gatekeeper 1
DUMLENU - Gatekeeper 2.
BARIDA - Royal Court Jester.
NDUBA - Royal Driver 1.
KOLOOLE - Royal Driver 2.
NDUMBOR - A notorious Pa Sao Community Village Drunk.
“GBO LEBIA” (FINE LADIES) - Bara Eesaa Kingdom Cultural Troupe.
BARA GAAGAA ROYAL VOICES - Bara Gaagaa Kingdom A Cappella Group.
PAGEANT MANAGER, PAGEANT SECRETARY, HOSPITAL NURSE AND WORKERS, ROYAL DRUMMERS, VILLAGERS, GOSSIPS.
TABLE OF CONTENT
Pages
ACT 1 SCENE 1 7
ACT 1 SCENE 2 11
ACT 1 SCENE 3 15
ACT 1 SCENE 4 19
ACT 2 SCENE 1 28
ACT 2 SCENE 2 34
ACT 2 SCENE 3 41
ACT 2 SCENE 4 45
ACT 3 SCENE 1 64
ACT 3 SCENE 2 68
ACT 3 SCENE 3 74
ACT 3 SCENE 4 79
ACT 4 SCENE 1 83
ACT 4 SCENE 2 85
ACT 4 SCENE 3 88
EPILOGUE 100
ACT ONE SCENE ONE
NARRATOR: (IN THE THRONE ROOM, AT THE BARA-EESAA GBEREMENE’S PALACE. AN IMPORTANT MEETING IS NOW ON-GOING. THE MAIN ITEM ON THE AGENDA IS THE INTIMATION OF THE HOME-COMING OF THE CROWN PRINCE, WHO HAS BEEN AWAY IN RUSSIA, STUDYING, TO THE COUNCIL OF CHIEFS.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Today is a very happy day in the life of our kingdom. I am elated to announce the home-coming of the Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa Kingdom.
CHIEF KOBAA: Praise be to the Almighty God.
CHIEF LEGEDU: May your reign be long, Your Majesty. But when exactly is he coming?
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Next week Friday.
CHIEF TOMII: Ah! You mean ten days from today?
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Exactly. You put all the necessary arrangements in place as the Kingdom Chief Logistics Officer. You know what to do or don’t you?
CHIEF TOMII: Of course, I do. (Counting his fingers to mark each item.) Tee Gboro, the kingdom incendiary and fireworks expert, will be alerted for the 21-gun salute as well as creating certain bizarre fireworks display. Also, five live cows will be publicly slaughtered at the village square.
The villages making up our kingdom will engage themselves in a grade-one wrestling contest at the reception ceremony. Added to these, the finest of ladies will entangle themselves in a first-rate beauty pageant.
Furthermore, Nigerian Breweries will be contacted to supply a trailer load of malt drink. Apart from that, Lady K will lead the women, who will sing from Keziri Mkpaa kpaa to the palace.
Also, twenty bags of Thai-parboiled rice will be procured. I rest a while, Your Majesty. I shall resume in a giffy. I salute you.
CHIEF AGBIDUM: Hmmm! Chief Tomii, you surprise me.
CHIEF TOMII: How?
CHIEF AGBIDUM: You did not mention palm wine in your list and your name in English means ‘Serve the Wine’. Just imagine the fresh, bubbling palm wine from Pee Ngaage by Teete, the famous Bon Ka community palm wine tapper, who won last year’s palm wine tapping competition, which was keenly contested by over two hundred and seventy palm wine tappers from…
CHIEF KOBAA: (Interrupting.) Ehen! I see! Palm wine will kill you someday, Chief Agbidum. (All laugh.)
CHIEF AGBIDUM: No! Not at all, Chief Kobaa; not when the Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa Kingdom is coming from Kpado Bekee to the land of his birth. (A little laughter.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: So like how many jars of palm wine do you think will be enough for the ceremony, Chief Agbidum?
CHIEF AGBIDUM: (Thinking for some seconds.) At least five hundred big jars for a start. (All laugh uncontrollably.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Still with some laughter.) Thank you, my chiefs. I am glad that none of you are against my progress. Your comportment and sagacity are simply outstanding! This underscores the reason why Bara Eesaa kingdom blazes the trail in various aspects of kingdom life.
Some things remain in your list, Secretary. Remember to book for video and camera for three days; enough chairs that can accommodate over twenty thousand visitors; radio announcement - to be aired five times a day for one week.
Remember to inform the Dom Kere to start announcing in the capital community today while you write officially to all the other nineteen communities of our great kingdom to start their announcement tomorrow. Also book for siren for the three days.
CHIEF TOMII: Okay, Your Highness.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Chief Agbidum, you are the kingdom Chief Security Officer. Mobilize your boys for effective policing before, during and after the home-coming.
CHIEF AGBIDUM: All right, Your Highness.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Chief Legedu, release the sum of Ten Million Naira to Chief Tomii. Chief Kobaa, oversee every spending and give me feedback. Don’t forget the calibre of the person we are welcoming home – Prince Raphael Menebe Longinus Nengiaa Kabaka, the Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa Kingdom - the largest and wealthiest kingdom in the whole of the Niger Delta, who has been away in Russia for the past seven years, studying Petroleum and Gas Engineering, specializing in Drilling. No half measures, please.
Thanks my chiefs. The royal maids will serve you now. When you are done, you can retire to your wives and children.
NARRATOR: (He rises and retreats into the bedroom. Chiefs refresh themselves, entertained by Barida, the court jester, talking about Calabar soups, his experiences during the Nigeria Civil War and the previous year’s wrestling competition. All are fully amused. Leave. Light fades.)
ACT ONE SCENE TWO
NARRATOR: (ALONG THE ROAD. PROCESSION IN MOTORCADE, FROM “KEZIRI MKPAA KPAA”, ABOUT FIVE KILOMETRES AWAY FROM THE PALACE. THERE IS HIGH VEHICULAR TRAFFIC JAM AMIDST YELLINGS FROM THE VILLAGERS, SOME, CARRYING PLACARDS AND PICTURES OF THE PRINCE. HIGH-PITCH SIREN, WILD DRUMMING, WAIST-BREAKING DANCING, FULL- BLAST ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ANNOUNCER, WITH THE VILLAGERS VARIOUSLY COMMENTING AND COMMENDING, REND THE AIR.)
SIREN: (Continues ad nauseam.) Pii! Paa! Pii! Paa! Pii! ...
MAN 1: Son of The Lion, welcome Oooo!
CHILD: Mummy, what is happening?
MOTHER: Our Crown Prince, who has been away in the white man’s country, since you were only a month-old in the womb, is now back. Let me carry you so that you can see him properly. (She lifts the child to see him properly.) Look at him in that black vehicle.
GIRL 1: Oh, my friend, see fine man! I wish he were…
GIRL 2: (Interrupting her.) Hee! Hee! Hee! Don’t even dream of it. You can’t marry the Prince, not even in your numerous dreams or in the next world. Just admire, move on and concentrate on your boyfriend, Baritor, the village painter.
GIRL 1: I know but I was just wishing. (Distracted by the loud sound from the announcer.)
ANNOUNCER: All hail Prince Raphael, the Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa Kingdom. Prince Menebe is back; back from the white man’s country.
SIREN: Pii! Paa! Pii! Paa! ...
NDUMBOR: ‘I go drink palm wine taya today. Make thunder fire me hundred times if a no finish ten big jars on ma own’. (Laughter within his neighbourhood.)
SIREN: Pii! Paa! Pii! Paa! ...
ANNOUNCER: All roads lead to the Gberemene’s Palace. The Crown Prince is back; back to his root.
GIRL 2: Lenu, back to our discussion. Stop wishing for what you and I know is impossible. You are not a baby, mind you.
(The procession is now closer to the palace.)
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, we shall enter the palace in this manner. Prince Raphael first, followed by the Gberemene and his Council of Chiefs, Vamene and her entourage, the political class, the paramount rulers and their chiefs, the Special Friends of the Crown Prince, the members of the Nigeria Society of Engineers, the Lions Club of Port Harcourt, the Gbo Lebia, the kingdom drummers and lastly, the villagers.
If you do not have seat within this gigantic palace, there are more than enough seats at the St. James Catholic Church premises, directly opposite the palace.
NARRATOR: (Procession filing in, group by group. The 16-plot-size palace as well as the 20-plot-size St. James Catholic Church premises are filled, including the church auditorium. The remnants, mostly villagers and children, fill the streets and neighbouring compounds.)
SIREN: Pii! Paa! Pii! Paa! ...
ANNOUNCER: Thank you, siren operator. You may put off the siren now. (Siren is now off.) Well-wishers, chiefs, ladies and gentlemen, thanks for your love. Be seated. Refresh yourselves.
We have assorted food here – garri with “egusi,” bitter leaf, “okazi,” “ogbono” and okra soups; rice, be it jollof, fried, or white; “Ekpan kukpo” – the Calabar food; pounded yam and pounded plantain etc. If you prefer “fufu”, simply request it. We have excess here. Don’t leave this place without tasting our palm wine…
NDUMBOR: (Interrupting.) Make Baba God bless you, announcer. “You bi correct guy man. Make ya mama no die quick quick, you hia?” (Laughter.)
ANNOUNCER: (Chuckles and grins.) We have a trailer load of Maltina here. Help yourselves. Remember that this is a three-day ceremony. It begins each day by 10am. Kindly listen to the remaining part of the programme.
Saturday, 10am – Wrestling competition among the best wrestlers from each community. Venue: Bon Ka here.
1pm – Dancing competition among the cultural dance groups of each community. Venue: Bon Ka here.
4pm – Masquerade display from each community. Venue: Starting from each community and ending at Bon Ka here.
7pm – Story telling competition among the best story tellers from each community. Venue – Bon Ka here.
Sunday, 9am – Thanksgiving Ceremony at St. James Catholic Church, directly opposite the palace here.
1pm – Film show. Film title – Last Year New Yam Festival and Wrestling Competition. Venue: Kingdom Civic Centre, Bon Ka here.
4pm – Inter-community Football Match between Ledogho and Dubara communities. Venue: Government Secondary School, Bon Bari Football Field.
7pm – The Grand Finale – Beauty Pageant and Marriage Ceremony of the Crown Prince. Venue: Kingdom Civic Centre, Bon Ka.
The most beautiful, educated and talented girls from the twenty communities of our kingdom – Bon ka, Nvee Nvin, Mee Nyima, Bon Le, Kpooge, Ledogho, Bon Dem, Bara Nkova, Bon Saakee, Bon Bari, Lekunuke, Bon Giaa, Kebaala, Bon Mii, Nvee Nkova, Pa Sao, Legono, Bon Door, Kpo Ngoi and Dubara, shall be displaying their intellect, beauty and other feminine endowments before us all and especially, the Prince, who, sitting beside the King and the Queen, is expected according to our tradition, to choose one of them or name one from any part of the world, if he is not moved by the beauties before him.
Thank you, so much. Eat, drink and get entertained and retire to your houses when you are done.
NARRATOR: (He sits down. Serving commences. The crowd eats to their satisfaction and leaves one by one until everybody leaves. Light fades.)
ACT ONE SCENE THREE
NARRATOR: (AT THE KING’S SITTING ROOM. THE TIME IS 6PM. A MINIATURE MEETING BETWEEN PRINCE RAPHAEL AND HIS PARENTS COMMENCES.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Dad and Mum, both of you honoured me beyond my expectation. You are the best!
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Chuckles.) Don’t mention, Son. You, my only child and the Crown Prince, deserves a better reception.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Smiling.) My Diamond, welcome to your root. (Pointing to the King and herself.) The Sun and the Moon, welcome you. How was your journey, Son?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: It was okay, Mum. We took off from the Sheremetyevo International Airport, Moscow, in the Moscow Oblast at about 8:00 hours GMT, aboard a Turkish Airline. Dad, the weather was not clement at all. At a time, I was even afraid especially when the pilot started complaining of poor visibility. But I thank God that we arrived safely despite the little hitch we experienced during landing at the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja.
BOTH PARENTS: Thank God.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Ehen! Dad and Mum, there is a dream I had just two nights ago that I couldn’t understand at all.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: What was that, Son?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: I dreamed that I had a precious, little lamb with the finest fur. The lamb hopped to meet me when it saw that I had returned from Russia. I observed that while it was coming to me, it became very dirty and extremely unsightly with every step towards me until finally, it gradually turned to the most unkempt, little pig I have ever heard or seen; in fact, a tattered monster. It was about sitting on my laps when an unknown strong wind separated it from me. It tried on its own to hold on to me but the force was more than it could bear, so, it drifted away with the wind, crying and bleating as it went out of sight. Both of you tried reuniting its drifting hands with mine but to no avail. It went out of sight. In my bewilderment, within a period of just about ten seconds, I saw the same wind coming back but not bringing the pig it carried with it. This time, it drifted a very dirty, little pig that was feasting on a refuse heap close by towards me. As it was coming, it gradually turned with every step to the most lovable, white lamb with the finest, perfumed fur I have ever seen. It came and sat on my laps. While I was cuddling and admiring the little lamb, a voice spoke to me, “Prince Raphael, take the little lamb for it is your own but first, go to the large refuse heap site and pay its mother before you carry it away, for its mother is still on the refuse heap.”
I retorted, “how can I enter this enormous, stinky and extremely unsightly refuse heap to pay its mother. Besides, what I am seeing on the refuse heap site rummaging now is not a ewe but a very dirty, old pig. The voice responded. “To start with, Prince Raphael, what you see as pig there is actually a ewe, not a sow. It is the mother of this lovely, little, white lamb you are cuddling. It entered the refuse heap site due to dearth of grass, whether fresh or dry. ‘Look around the pig,' the voice ordered me. ‘Do you see any grass or plants within the vicinity of the pig as far as your eyes can see?’ I looked and answered, ‘no.’”
“The mother is dirty because it has not got the chance to come down towards you like this little, white lamb that you now admire did. Call its mother to yourself; bathe, clean and pay it so that it will no longer go to the refuse heap site. Then, take the little, white lamb home, for it is your own. Or have you forgotten that the little, white lamb on your laps was a dirty, smelly, little pig few minutes ago? Do what I tell you to do,” the voice concluded.
QUEEN BIABEKEE (Alarmed.) What sort of dream is this, Son? I sent you to Russia to study and become the best that a crown prince can ever be. What is this kind of dream about voices, pigs turning to sheep and goats turning to rats in the presence of white lambs and he-goats eating unripe apples? Honey, what do you make of our son’s long Russian dream?
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Thinking conspicuously.) My Son, you said that you dreamt this just two nights ago?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Yes, Dad. Do you have any clue to such dream? Maybe, I should just discard it. I just relayed it to you because it is still very fresh on my mind.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: My Son, what an old man sees while sitting down, a toddler cannot see even if he were to stand on Mountain Everest. You had that dream when you were in Russia. Now you are in Nigeria. Dream another one. What I can say now is that it is wise to pitch your tent with your parents. Hold on to your first white lamb.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Let us leave lambs and pigs for now.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Once again, thanks, Dad and Mum. I never saw such a grand reception. The organiser did a thorough work. Thanks Mum. I enjoyed the meals, especially the Okazi soup. Mum, who prepared it?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Oh, the soup? Haa! We employ the best hands here Ooo! Though all the maids are excellent housekeepers and especially cooking, Maid 2 tends to have an edge over them. I personally chose her to be your slave, not minding that she reads. Maid 2 prepared it.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Lost.) Maid 2? What sort of name is that, Mum?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Oh, have you forgotten, Son? The workers are known by their duties. You know that they are commoners. Their names don’t count – only ours do. Ah, My Dearest Son, you see…
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Interrupting.) My Boy, you are tired. You need rest. Tomorrow you can continue the discussion. Vamene, please, let your son rest a while.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: All right, Your Highness.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Good night, Dad and Mum.
BOTH: Good night, Son.
(Prince Raphael leaves. Both look at each other, smiling and chuckling.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Thank you, Vamene, for giving me Raphael. He is one in a billion.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Thank you, too. You scored the goal. (Both laugh and then rise. Exeunt. Light fades.
ACT ONE SCENE FOUR
NARRATOR: (WITHIN THE PALACE. THE TIME IS 8PM. THE PRINCE IS SEEN, STROLLING. HE GOES FROM ONE SECTION OF THE PALACE TO THE OTHER. HE SEES A DRIVER.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Hello!
NDUBA: (Bowing.) Good Evening, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Good Evening. Who are you?
NDUBA: I am Driver 1. I drive the white Hilux over there. (Bowing again.) I’m pleased to meet you, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: You are welcome. (He moves to the left; sees a young, energetic man.) Who are you, man?
DANGA: (Bowing almost to the ground.) I am Guard 3. (Becoming happier that he is talking with the Prince.) Guard 3, My Prince. Guard 3. Guard 3.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Becoming furious.) I said, ‘what is your name, not your job title’? Don’t you have a name?
DANGA: (Becoming afraid; kneels and pleads tearfully.) Please, My Prince, I do not want to lose my job. We are known here by our jobs. We are commoners. If the King and Queen know that I mentioned my name, I stand the chance of losing my job immediately. Please, My Prince, I have a wife and a year-old kid to…
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Becoming sterner.) Tell me your name or expect to quit your job now!
DANGA: (Thoroughly afraid; stammers.) D- D- Da- Dan- Danga, M- My P- P- Pri- Prince.
NARRATOR: (He bows; almost lying down. The Prince looks at him, sighs and leaves. He moves towards the backyard; sees somebody reading secretly. He approaches her.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Who are you, young lady?
BARIVURE: (Totally startled; heart beating excessively; breathing violently. He wonders why all that.) I… I…am M-Maid Maid 2, M-My My… Prince. (Still breathing heavily, curtsying several times. The mention of Maid 2 reminds him of the person, who he was told, cooked the meal that his body and soul both ate to their fullest satisfaction.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Ignoring that glaring fact at the moment.) I said ‘what is your name?’ I did not ask you of your job title. Are you the Maid 2?
BARIVURE: (Not understanding the reason for the question; nonplussed; kneels, pleading.) My Prince, if there is anything that I have done wrong, though none I can remember for now, I plead that you forgive me. As for my name, it is absolutely inconsequential. I am a commoner. We don’t even know our names here. We greet ourselves by our jobs.
I am the only hope of my poor mother, (now sobbing) who sells PEPPER at our village market. (Now in tears.) Mentioning my name is tantamount to losing my job; worse still, without any disengagement or severance package, gratuity or pension of any kind. Our emoluments end with the N20,000 that we are paid at the end of the month. Help me, My Prince.
NARRATOR: (Prince Raphael is shocked at the level of English a maid was speaking – tantamount, inconsequential, disengagement or severance package, gratuity, emoluments, pension etc. All point to the fact that she is reasonably educated.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Empathetically; moved; softly.) So, what is your real name?
BARIVURE: (Looks up for the first time at his face then looks downwards, scribbling nonsense on the ground with her leg out of shyness. Now, a little relaxed.) I am known outside here as Barivure, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: So what were you doing alone here, Barivure?
BARIVURE: Reading, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Reading? Which subject and what topic?
BARIVURE: I was reading Radioactivity, a Physics topic, My Prince. With your permission, I beg to leave, My Prince.
NARRATOR: (He gives the signal that she can leave. As she leaves, he observes that she also has the right curves, sizeable buttocks naturally shaking violently, sizeable breasts, graceful steps that all align with her beautiful, innocent-looking, round face and impeccable courtesy, adorning these with unfeigned, modest and obvious femininity and humility. He moves on, sees other maids – Maids 1 and 4 watching television; Maid 3 dressing her hair.)
MAIDS: (In unison.) Good Evening, Our Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Good Evening. How are you?
MAIDS: We are fine. Thank you.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: So what are your names?
AATOR: (Joyfully.) I am Maid 1. She is Maid 4. The other is Maid 3, My Prince.
NARRATOR: (He looks at her, then at the others and shrugs. He moves on towards the gate and sees a man.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Hello!
KOOMAGA: Good Evening, Our Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: What is your name?
KOOMAGA: I am Gatekeeper 1, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Soliloquizing.) Another nameless human being.
NARRATOR: (He shrugs and moves to his apartment to have some rest. Light goes off at 11pm as usual. In his characteristic security consciousness, he moves round the compound to be sure that the security men have securely locked all entrances. He observes one window still open with light apparently emanating from a kerosene lamp. He moves closer to see who the security-unconscious human being could be. He peeps and observes about five minutes that it is Maid 2, reading, cramming and demonstrating with her hands while her eyes are closed, assuring herself of grasping every bit of the object of her reading.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Barivure!
BARIVURE: (Severely startled almost out of her skin.) M-M-My P-Prince. (Breathing rather heavily; her heart pounding.) P-P-Please, don’t…don’t be m-ma-mad at me.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Confused at such plea.) Mad at you? Why should I be mad at a dutiful maid that still has time for studies at night when everybody else is either playing, whiling away their time or sleeping? Certainly, I am not mad at you.
BARIVURE: (becoming less nervous.) Thank God!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Thank God? Why are you so nervous each time I find you reading? Are you normal at all?
BARIVURE: I am perfectly normal. It is the Queen, My Prince. (Curtsying.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: What about the Queen?
BARIVURE: (Stammering fearfully.) The… the… my… ehmm... the Queen… ehmm… ehmm…
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Sternly.) Speak out, I command you.
BARIVURE: (Curtsying.) My Prince, the Queen. If she finds out that I am or was reading, I risk losing my job. Worse still, if she discovers that I revealed this to you, don’t be surprised if by tomorrow morning you see me carrying that bag (pointing at a medium-size Ghana-Must-Go bag) outside the gate, never to come in again.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: This is serious!
BARIVURE: (Tearfully.) Yes, My Prince, it is. (Remembers what transpired a day that the queen bumped into her room, seeing her reading.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Maid 2! Maid 2! You need to – (the queen opens her door; Observes some open books on her table.) What were you doing?
BARIVURE: (Jumping to her feet, genuflecting several times.) Rea…Reading, M… M…M…My Quee…Quee…Queen.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Sneering.) You, - Maid 2, - Reading! To become what? (Laughs sarcastically.) The world indeed is mad! Wonders shall never end! Will you close those stupid books of yours now or I throw them into that open fire (pointing at a fire made to burn certain useless household items).
Let me see you any other day, deceiving yourself, reading. The highest people like you can become in this life is to work in my house as maids and earn as much as the N20,000 – equivalent to about €10, which I LAVISHLY pay you monthly.
Run to the market now. Buy me stock fish, frozen chicken, cow leg and other items on this list. Fool!
BARIVURE: Yes, Ma!
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Dunderhead!
BARIVURE: Yes, My Queen.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Looks at her from the head to the toes, shelled.) Numskulled, mutton-headed, grade one simpleton!
BARIVURE: (Extremely tearful.) Yes, My Queen.
NARRATOR: (Vamene leaves. Barivure sobs as she dresses for the market. In the present, she is seen shedding tears, likeable to a scene of trance or sub consciousness.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Barivure! – Barivure! – Bari –
BARIVURE: (As if gaining consciousness.) Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, My Prince, I’m sorry. I was only raptly remembering a sad and very emotional experience I had with … with… (looks at his face and then looks down again) the Queen. (Sobs again.)
The only crime I have ever committed is poverty. Oh, were my father alive! (Sobbing continues.) Papa, why did you leave a poor, helpless but promising child like me to be humiliated by the world?
NARRATOR: (Prince Raphael is thoroughly moved with sympathy, empathy and then takes a strong determination to end her misery and quagmire.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Please, stop crying. I now perfectly understand your morass. If you stop crying, I promise to buy you grade one, advance, foreign and local textbooks on Physics, Chemistry, Biology, General and Further Mathematics as well as the Webster’s Dictionary, Encyclopaedia Americana and Britannica, two day-light-like rechargeable lamps and an internet-ready HP laptop computer.
I will also talk with my Mum to go easier on the workers and assure them of their job security. I also promise that you will have peace of mind as long as you remain a maid in this palace.
BARIVURE: (Extremely happy.) Thanks a million times, My Prince. May the Almighty God bless you.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Aaa~meen! Now go and sleep. It is now late – almost mid night. Good Night, Barivure.
BARIVURE: (Shyly.) Good Night, My Crown Prince.
NARRATOR: (Barivure smiles with some level of hope. Sleeps. Light fades.)
ACT TWO SCENE ONE.
NARRATOR: (AT THE PRINCE’S CHAMBERS. THE TIME IS 7:30AM. BREAKFAST IS NOW READY. MAID 2 APPROACHES THE DOOR; KNOCKS.)
BARIVURE: (Knocking.) Koi! – Koi! – Koi!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (From within, casually speaking French, not particularly expecting an answer for he knows the knocker must either be a maid or any other palace worker and not any person that is learned enough as to be able to reply him in French.) Qui est-ce? Un homme ou une femme?
BARIVURE: (Replying in like manner.) Une femme. C’est moi, Bonne deuxieme, Mon Prince Héritier. Voici ton petit-déjeuner avec moi.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Rather shocked.) Entrer, jeune femme. (She enters.)
BARIVURE: Merci. Bon jour, Mon Prince. Comment çava aujourd’ hui?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Çava très bien aujourd-hui. Merci beaucoup, Mademoiselle Barivure. Et vous?
BARIVURE: Çava bien. Merci, Monsieur. Dieu est au controle.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Jeune femme, parlez-vous Français?
BARIVURE: Oui, je parle et j’écris bien en français, Mon Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Tu m’étonnes vraiment. C’est extrêmement incroyable!
BARIVURE: (Shyly.) Ah bon? Mon Prince, vous flattez une pauvre fille comme moi.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Still shocked.) Barivure, vous êtes certainement plus qu’un employé de palais ordinaire. Il y a plus sur vous que l’œil ordinaire ne peut en voir.
BARIVURE: Merci pour les compliments, Mon Prince. (Shyly, tearfully) Je suis heureux de pouvoir enfin trouver un être humain qui m'apprécie en dehors de ma mère malade.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Shrugs) I am really surprised at you, Barivure. So you can speak and also write French?
BARIVURE: Yes, My Prince. Here is your food.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Shrugs.) Wonders shall never end – a local maid speaking and writing French! (Recovers.) Keep the food on the dining table. Who among you prepared this meal?
BARIVURE: I did, My Prince. Please, give me your dirty clothes. I want to wash them.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Okay. Give me few minutes let me select them out.
NARRATOR: He enters the bedroom and starts selecting the clothes. He spontaneously finds himself, as is his habit, audibly reciting Kobena Eyi Acquah’s “In The Navel Of The Soul”; Barivure, listening.)
In the navel of the soul
The midwives of the spirit say
They can hear a heart throb;
BARIVURE: (Reciting with him at the same time.)
The experts of course disagree;
The urine… (he stops, comes closer and listens to her)
test they ordered said, negative,
Confirming their palpation results;
Our fundal height is at an all time low,
Our breasts bear no tell-tale tints upon their tits;
PRINCE RAPHAEL: You keep surprising me all the time. So you also know poems?
BARIVURE: Yes, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Are you sure that you aren’t a university graduate deceiving this palace that you are only a high school leaver? You seem to be good at everything.
BARIVURE: No, I’m not a university graduate. I am only a serious student. My mother told me to be serious in anything good I lay my hands on to do today. That it must pay me tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Shrugs.) Now, back to Kobena Eyi Acquah.
Yet in their finger upon
Our navel,
BARIVURE: the midwives of the spirit say
They feel a foetal throb;
PRINCE RAPHAEL: God,
The things that are done
in your name –
BARIVURE: I mean the things that are undone behind
the flimsy façade of your name,
if our own eyes
had not seen in broad daylight,
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Rather very happy at such feat.)
The things they have here
disclaimed on oath,
we would be believing,
we dreamt it all;
Barivure, if you can complete the poem, I will go this afternoon to the bookshop and purchase the books I promised you but if you fail any line or word, I shall go on Monday as I earlier promised you.
BARIVURE: (Fully ready for the challenge. She recites, stressing each word.)
Indeed, even now,
Under the heat of their quizzical glare
The benign indulgence of
their smile
we are not sure –
No. We are sure.
They say we have gone
All out of our mind;
If madness nurtures such lucidity,
God make us mad,
Make us even more mad
For in the navel of the soul,
We, too, have felt, at times
The throb of a straining heart,
A spirit refusing to be drowned
In its own waters
Before birth.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Perfect! Outstanding! This is serious, Barivure! God bless you! Unbelievable! This is spectacular, especially, coming from a maid. May goodness follow you all the days of your life! God bless the day you were born and the woman that gave birth to you. Expect your books around 4pm today.
BARIVURE: (Very happy.) Thanks a million times, My Prince.
NARRATOR: (Prince Raphael goes inside, brings the clothes for her. She leaves. He is now deep in thought. Gradually, a feeling of love is now replacing mere sympathy and empathy. He eats his food – another soul-enriching, tastefully-prepared meal – fried rice with salad, garnished with fried eggs and chicken. Belches; Rests a bit; Enters the bedroom. A maid from the king approaches the door.)
LEVIGA: (knocking.) Koi! Koi! Koi!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Qui est-ce? (No response.)
LEVIGA: Koi! Koi! Koi!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Qui est-ce?
LEVIGA: I don’t understand, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Who are you?
LEVIGA: I am Maid 4, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: No wonder! Had it been you were Barivure, you would have answered me.
NARRATOR: (Leviga is lost. Firstly, who is Barivure? Secondly, what would the Barivure have answered that she did not answer?)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: All right, what is your message?
LEVIGA: (Relieved.) The King requests your presence at the Palace Library, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: All right, tell him I shall be there within three minutes.
LEVIGA: Okay, My Prince. (She leaves. Light fades.)
ACT TWO SCENE TWO
NARRATOR: (AT THE PALACE LIBRARY. THE TIME IS 9:20AM. PRINCE RAPHAEL ENTERS.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Bowing.) Good Morning, Precious Dad.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Good Morning, Son of Consolation. (Both laugh.) How was the night, My Son?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Splendid, Dad!
GBEREMENE KABAKA: I hope you are getting ready for the wrestling match? You know that it is just about forty minutes from now and they can’t start without our presence.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: I know, Dad. I will be ready within the next forty to fifty minutes. (Queen Biabekee enters.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Good Morning, My Jewel.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Rather shy; smiles.) Mum, you are flattering me.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: No! No! No! My Son, your mother is only expressing the obvious.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Only expressing the obvious? Am I that good of a son?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Ignoring him.) May be I did not greet my son well, Honey.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: You can do it better, then.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Genuflecting.) Good Morning, My Precious Dove; Dad’s and Mum’s Pearl; The People’s Delight; The Ever-shiny Bara-Eesaa Crown Prince; The Desire of every Same Mother; Prince among Princes; My Priceless Gem; Gberemene Kabaka’s Treasure; Our…
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Rather not comfortable.) No! Stop! Mum and Dad. I know that I have tried my best to be a good son and heir but indeed I see this as an exercise in extreme flattery.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: It is not flattery, My Son. In fact, be prepared to take over the mantle of leadership of this great kingdom after your marriage to Princess Gold of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom tomorrow.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: My marriage to Princess Gold of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom tomorrow?
(Both parents are shocked; look at each other.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Honey, have you not intimated him on…
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Interrupting.) My Son, everything has been put in place. The bride price is fully paid. You don’t need to stress yourself over that. Not even a dime remains. As we speak, three goats – Ból Panyōrma (Goat For The Ancestors), Ból Mon Va (Goat For Seeing Your Wife) and Ból Kiok Bá Dēē (Goat For Disrespect), have already been given to your father-in-law – His Highness, Gberemene Callistus Daakpee W.P.Z. Baadom XV – King of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom. The fourth one there (pointing at a huge goat outside) – Ból Tuuma Va (The Exchange Goat) is to be presented to him tomorrow too.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Apart from that, I have particularly mobilized the Gbo Lebia, who will escort you and your wife, Princess Gold, to the palace, singing and dancing wildly in ecstasy, to grade-one Ogoni cultural dance music, especially your favourite “Birabi Kpaana Bori.” (Then she suddenly starts to sing and dance.)
(Kpaana Bori a ee Founded Bori a ee
A ee Birabi) 2 times A ee Birabi;
(Birabi Kpaana Bori ’naa toor bu Birabi founded Bori ’did not live in it,
A ee Birabi) 2 times A ee Birabi;
A du baro nyor-ue O Oo Oo (2 times) It is a wicked world;
Birabi Kpaana Bori ’naa toor bu Oo Oo (2 times) Birabi founded Bori ’did not live in it;
A du baro nyor-ue Oo Oo 2 times It is a wicked world.
(Now sweating from the wild exercise.) Son, I cannot wait to see the adorable Princess Gold of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom, kneel before you, cup in hand, and say to the whole world, “here is my husband with whom…”
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Interrupting.) Besides, the black, tear-rubber-new Limousine parked outside there (pointing to it), is to ROYALLY convey you and your wife, Princess Gold, following ROYALLY, the already-paid-for, high-pitch siren, flanked ROYALLY, by the men of the Nigerian Mobile Police with the entire Bara Gaagaa and Bara Eesaa kingdoms Councils of Chiefs ROYALLY at the rear and with every other protocol being ROYALLY observed. We shall really celebrate you and your wife ROYALLY. (Smiles broadly.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Me and my wife?
(Both parents look at each other again.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Son, what is wrong with you? Any problems?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: No.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Goes closer to feel his body temperature.) Son, do you have malaria?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: No.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Has Princess Gold, your friend from childhood and fiancée, which almost every Bara Eesaa adult knows, offended you?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: No.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Son, stop all these “no” answers. We are your parents. Explain things to us.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Honey, what more does a man look for in a woman? (Now restless, moving and stamping her feet as she speaks further.) What more does a man look for in a woman! - A woman that has a Masters Degree in Aeronautical Engineering from the University of Glasgow, Scotland, in the United Kingdom; a woman whose spotless skin shines like the sun; who speaks standard, pure and flawless English only second to the Queen of England herself while she lived; a woman with an angelic face and grace; a woman who is even more beautiful than was the ever-famous Queen Nefertiti of Egypt – the golden wife of Pharaoh Akhenaten; a woman who…
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Interrupting.) Or did you meet a princess in Russia while you were about coming home? Was it at the Red Square or at the Great Kremlin Palace?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: If that is the case, just tell us. Is she the daughter of the Russian President or Prime Minister?
GBEREMENE KABAKA: If so, I shall have to phone the President or the Prime Minister immediately.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Or better still, with the permission of your father, I shall have to take the next available flight to Moscow, in company of Lady K, Chief Kobaa, Barrister Popnvin – your bosom friend and Scorpion and fetch the diamond bride within the next twenty eight hours. (No response.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Or did you meet at the Heathrow Airport, London, the daughter of the American Secretary of State or one of the daughters of the King of Norway or those of Denmark, Sweden, Spain, Belgium or The Netherlands?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: My Diamond Son, just tell us; My God-given Angel, just tell us, please. (No response.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Did you meet the Princess of Wales?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Or is the apple of your eye an angel from heaven?
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Then you will leave me with no other choice but to summon Rev. (Dr.) Anthony Saana Daakoorlor, to invoke Angel Gabriel and Angel Michael and commission them to fetch the bride within the next eighteen hours while we…
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Interrupting.) It is all right, Mum. All is well, Dad.
NARRATOR: (Just then Gberemene Kabaka’s phone rings. The caller is Gberemene Callistus of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom. He picks the call and puts on loudspeaker.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Hello, my good friend.
GBEREMENE CALLISTUS: Hello, My In-law. (Both laugh.) How is your family, especially the prince?
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Fine. We are still breathing. The Men of the Underworld have not succeeded in cutting our throats. As for the prince, his windpipe is still intact. I checked it properly this morning. (Another round of laughter.)
GBEREMENE CALLISTUS: You are funny, My In-law. I just call to let you know that though we will not be able to grace the wrestling contest this morning, we will be in the thanksgiving ceremony and the marriage party of tomorrow.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Why? We were anxiously expecting your presence.
GBEREMENE CALLISTUS: Sorry, My In-law. My daughter is expecting her friends from London and Scotland any moment from this minute. Also, we need to make the last minute preparations for the marriage ceremony of our children. You know, they deserve the best.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: That is true. We are already through with all our arrangements. The only things that remain now are to cut the throats of the two cows here looking at me and use them to prepare mouth-watering dishes of all kinds. The second is to purge ourselves, starting from this night so as to be able to effectively “upload” tomorrow. (Both laugh.) We expect to see you tomorrow, then.
GBEREMENE CALLISTUS: It is well, my good friend.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Good bye, my life-time friend. (Both laugh. He ends the call.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: We are already late for the wrestling match. Let us prepare, Dad and Mum. (Parents are now relieved.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: You scared us, Son.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Please, Son, do not scare us like this again. You know that you are more precious to us than gold, silver and diamond put together.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: All right, Mum and Dad. (Exeunt.)
ACT TWO SCENE THREE
NARRATOR: (UNDER A CANOPY WITHIN THE PALACE. THE TIME IS 4PM. THE WRESTLING CONTEST AND THE DANCING COMPETITIONS WERE WELL DONE. THE MASQUERADE DISPLAY IS NOW ON-GOING. THE PRINCE HAS JUST RETURNED FROM PURCHASING THE BOOKS HE PROMISED BARIVURE. HE SITS DOWN; SEES A MAID.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Hello, young lady; come here. (Adomale approaches him.) What is your name?
ADOMALE: Maid 3, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Softly.) I asked, “what is your real name?”
ADOMALE: Haa, My Prince! (She looks left and right to be sure that no one is eavesdropping. Then she fearfully whispers loudly.) Adomale, Adomale, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Adomale, open the boot of that blue Pathfinder Jeep there. Bring the two cartons inside, here. Okay?
ADOMALE: Okay, My Prince.
NARRATOR: (She brings them and leaves. He hides them at his back. Maid 2 has finished washing and ironing the clothes but could not bring them inside as his door is locked. She sees him within the compound, goes inside her room to bring the clothes. She is now becoming less terrified.)
BARIVURE: My Prince, welcome. Please, give me your key let me put the clothes inside.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Inspects the clothes.) If you had told me that you were taking the clothes to the dry cleaner, I would have given you some money. He actually did an excellent job. When next you go there, please tell him to give you his phone number so that you will not need to be stressing yourself taking the clothes to him, rather, him coming to collect them himself. After all, he will be paid well.
BARIVURE: You really like the dry cleaning!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: I don’t like it. I love it. The starching is perfect! Look at this one. (He picks one of the clothes and indicates a spot.) A big stain was here. It is all gone. Whao! He even perfumed the clothes. See the ironing. Perfect!
BARIVURE: I am the dry cleaner.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Shocked; Moves two steps backward.) You are kidding me.
BARIVURE: My Prince, I still remember that I am a commoner – an ordinary maid at that. I cannot kid a person of your calibre. I did the dry cleaning, right at the backyard there (pointing). I just added my womanly sixth sense; that’s all.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Why are you always good at everything?
BARIVURE: My mother. She told me that I should aspire to make the best of what I do today. That if it does not pay me today, it must pay me tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: This is the second time you are saying this. Your mother must be a very wonderful woman.
BARIVURE: Yes, she is. (Immediately remembers something; crestfallen.) Only that she is sick at present and helplessly poor.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Sympathetic.) Chieeh! Sorry! All right, go keep the clothes inside. (He hands the keys to her.) When you are back, you can tell me more about your mother.
BARIVURE: All right, My Prince. (She leaves and returns within five minutes.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: So, where is your mother now?
BARIVURE: At home in my community – Bon Saakee.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: No problem; don’t be sad again. We shall go and see her on Monday and take her to the hospital. So, cheer up.
BARIVURE: (Becoming happier.) Thanks, My Prince. (Just then, Lady K arrives.)
LADY K: Good Evening, Prince Raphael.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Good Evening, Ma Lady K.
LADY K: How was your trip?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Oh, great! God took control of the air and the landing.
LADY K: (Funnily.) I hope you and Princess Gold have learnt the dance steps. Don’t allow her to out-dance you Ooo.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Haa! Ma Lady K, you are funny. They don’t teach Bara Eesaa nuptial dance steps in Russia. (Both laugh.)
LADY K: I am going now to pay for the apartment we earlier booked at the Hotel Presidential, Port Harcourt. I hope you know that both of you are moving straight from the marriage ceremony of tomorrow to the apartment and you are not expected here in this palace until you make her (demonstrating with her hands, sign of pregnancy.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Haa! Ma Lady K. You are indeed very funny. It is not in my hands to effect that. However, I sincerely thank you for all the troubles we make you go through.
LADY K: Don’t mention that. I am only doing what I am supposed to do. Ehen! One more thing. It would not be wise that there will not be any maid from our own kingdom attending to Princess Gold tomorrow.
We have selected Maid 2 here to be the maid from our kingdom attending to her. (Faces her.) Maid 2, prepare yourself in our kingdom maid attire to attend to Princess Gold tomorrow. Remember, you are wearing Maid Uniform 1. I don’t need to remind you that the sun’s rays are not permitted to touch any part of her body for more than one second and should rain fall, no drop of rain water is permitted to touch any part of her body, not even the feet. Do you understand?
BARIVURE: Yes, Ma. I perfectly understand.
LADY K: Of course, I do not need to remind you that you and all the attending maids of Bara Gaagaa kingdom will be doing a great disservice to our whole existence deserving years of imprisonment if one of her toes mistakenly touches a stone along the path. I hope that is perfectly clear?
BARIVURE: It is perfectly clear, Ma.
LADY K: (Faces Prince Raphael.) Okay, let me see your mum a minute before I leave. (She leaves the scene, leaving Prince Raphael and Maid 2.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Sorry for the interlude. So you said you were reading Radioactivity yesterday evening?
BARIVURE: Yes, My Prince.
NARRATOR: (Prince Raphael is determined to test her beyond every reasonable doubt to be really sure that he is not making any mistakes about her academic abilities.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: So, what is Radioactivity?
BARIVURE: (Sharply.) Radioactivity is the process by which certain naturally-occurring substances emit particles (alpha, beta and neutron) or radiations (gamma, K capture) or both at the same time, arising as a result of an unstable nucleus transforming to some other nucleus or energy level. Put differently, Radioactivity is the spontaneous disintegration of the nucleus of certain elements like uranium, meitnerium, nobelium, mendelevium, plutonium, radon, rutherfordium, protactinium, seaborgium, polonium, radium and every other element whose atomic number is greater than 83. These are technically known as radioactive elements.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Good! Barivure. That is so delicious! Let’s go to Static Electricity. State Coulomb’s Law.
BARIVURE: (Sharply; demonstrating.) Coulomb’s Law states that the force between two point charges is directly proportional to the product of their charges and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Good! Barivure. Now, Biology. In true ruminants like cow, goat and sheep, which is the true stomach?
BARIVURE: (Sharply.) Abomasum. This is the fourth and final stomach of the true ruminant. Enzymatic or true digestion takes place here.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: And which is the largest?
BARIVURE: (Sharply.) The Rumen. It is the first chamber of the ruminant’s stomach in which dwell micro-organisms that act on the plant cellulose before regurgitation and chewing of the cud by the animal.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Correct! What is Accommodation?
BARIVURE. (Happily.) Accommodation, in Biology, is the ability of the eye to alter the focal length of the lens. In other words, it is the automatic adjustment of the focus of an eye to give clear vision.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Good! Can you mention the various classes of digestive enzymes?
BARIVURE: Of course, My Prince. They are: Proteases, Amylases and Lipases.
Proteases are protein-digesting enzymes. They are found in the: (1) stomach - for example Rennin (in children) and Pepsin (in adults); (2) duodenum for example trypsin and (3) ileum for example erepsin.
Amylases are enzymes that digest starches and sugars. Examples are ptylin produced by the salivary gland that converts starch to maltose; sucrase, maltase and lactase that convert disaccharides into galactose, glucose and fructose.
Lipases are enzymes produced in the pancreas and the ileum that convert fat and oil into fatty acids and glycerol.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Beautiful! Now, Current Affairs. In which country is the Taj Mahal?
BARIVURE: India. The Taj Mahal was built by Emperor Shah Jahan, in memory of his wife, Arjumand Banu Bagam, known as Muntaz Mahal, who died in 1631. It is regarded as one of the finest buildings in the world.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: That is very good. And the Eiffel Tower?
BARIVURE: The Eiffel Tower is a massive iron structure located on the Champ de Mars, Paris – capital of France. It was designed by Engineer Gustave Eiffel, for the 1889 World’s Fair.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Correct! Which is the smallest state in the world?
BARIVURE: The State of Vatican City in Rome – the world headquarters of the Roman Catholic Church, having the 60,000-capacity St. Peter’s Basilica as its most important structure. It is the last remnant of the Papal States. It was established in 1929 under the terms of the Lateran Treaty. It has its own flag, national anthem and definite territory, covering 44 hectares, that is 110 acres. It has its own army known as the Swiss Guard, a radio station and a diplomatic corps.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Beautiful! Lovely! What is the capital of Namibia?
BARIVURE: (Thinking for some seconds.) Luanda.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: No! It is Windhoek. Luanda is actually the capital and largest city of Angola.
BARIVURE: (A bit crestfallen.) My Prince, please ask me any of the sciences. I am not as good in the arts as in the sciences – Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Geography, Agricultural Science, Statistics, Health Science, Pure and Applied Mathematics, Computer Science, Food and Nutrition etc.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: I see! So which course would you like to study?
BARIVURE: (Sadly.) My Prince, the correct question would have been, “which course would you have loved to study?” Had it been that my father did not die and leave me in this wicked world to suffer, I would have studied Medicine and Surgery and either specializing in Cardio-Vascular or Cerebro-Spinal Surgery.
NARRATOR: (Prince Raphael, though sympathetic of her state, is really shocked at her level of intelligence, especially considering the fact that she is a maid. He, however, keeps his intentions known to himself alone. He is bent on not making any mistakes about her abilities.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Barivure, please, cheer up. As long as there is life, there is hope. After all, some people go to school on scholarship. I have seen situations where ladies are sent to school by their husbands. Somebody can come here and marry you and send you to school. You are still young – only twenty four. Remember, the meaning of your name is ‘God loves’. God loves you dearly. (She cheers up a bit.) So, can we continue?
BARIVURE: Yes.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Geography. The study of rocks is called what?
BARIVURE: Petrology. It is derived from the Greek petros meaning ‘stone’ (petra means ‘rock’) and logos meaning ‘study’.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: You are very correct! Mention the features produced by wind erosion.
BARIVURE: Several features are produced by wind erosion and they include: Ventifacts, Rock pedestals, Zeugen, Yardang, Mesas and buttes, Inselbergs and Deflation hollows.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Thanks so much, Barivure. But you did not mention Dunes as a feature of wind erosion.
BARIVURE: No, Dunes are a feature of wind deposition and not wind erosion.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: That’s correct, Barivure. You mentioned Inselbergs and Zeugens while listing the features of wind erosion. What are Zeugens and Inselbergs?
BARIVURE: (Sharply; demonstrating.) Inselbergs are steep-sided, isolated and residual hills with rounded tops that stand out prominently above the surrounding level in core desert and semi-arid regions of the earth.
On the other hand, Zeugens are a feature measuring up to 30 metres above the surrounding level formed when hard and soft rock strata lie horizontally upon one another, and through weathering and breaking by wind abrasion, distinctive tabular masses are left standing upon the softer rock stratum.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Thanks, Barivure. This is really a great feat and I think every sane human will be extremely impressed by it. Can you differentiate Rapids, Cataracts and Waterfalls?
BARIVURE: Oh yes! These, together with River Gorges and River Capture, are all common features of the upper course of a river. Rapids are those outcrops of very resistant rocks on the beds of rivers. They prevent the free flow of the river. Examples are the Bussa and Awuru rapids of the River Niger.
Cataracts are rapids of greater dimension while Waterfalls refer to points along the course of a river where there is a plunging down from a reasonable height.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Good! You deserve the eagle’s feather in your cap, Barivure. Now, Chemistry. Differentiate between saturated and unsaturated hydrocarbon.
BARIVURE: (Sharply.) A saturated hydrocarbon is a hydrocarbon that has only carbon-carbon single bonds in its molecular structure. Examples are the Alkanes like Methane, Ethane, Propane, Butane, Pentane, Hexane etc. On the other hand, unsaturated hydrocarbons are the hydrocarbons that contain double or triple carbon-carbon bonds in their molecular structure. Examples are the alkenes and alkynes like Ethene, Propene, But-1-ene, Hept-1-ene, But-1-yne, Pent-1-yne etc.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: This is extremely outstanding! In fact, so delicious! What are the properties and uses of ammonium salts?
BARIVURE: (Itemizing with her fingers, smiling.) Properties of ammonium salts: (1.) All ammonium salts are white and crystalline in nature and very soluble in water. (2.) All ammonium salts are easily affected by heat. This is because they decompose easily into their component compounds. (3.) Ammonium salts react with alkali to produce ammonia gas on warming.
Uses of ammonium salts. (1.) Ammonium trioxonitrate(V) is used in the manufacture of explosives. (2). Ammonium trioxocarbonate(IV) is used in laboratory analysis as a smelling gas to prevent dizziness and fainting due to its easy decomposition. (3.) Ammonium tetraoxosulphate(VI), Ammonium trioxonitrate(V) and Ammonium trioxosulphate(IV) are used in the manufacture of fertilizers. (4.) Ammonium chloride is useful in the preparation of dry cells and as a flux in soldering.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Exclaiming suddenly.) Excellent! Keep it up! Unbelievable! (He brings the cartons of books from his back; opens them, still exclaiming.) Barivure, here are your books. This is so delicious! In fact, outstanding! (He lifts her up.) Barivure, you are the best! Excellent! Exce…
BARIVURE: (Shyly and uncomfortable.) My Prince, bring me down. Bring me…
(All attention is now drawn to them.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Barivure, God bless the day you were born! Perfect!
NARRATOR: (Queen Biabekee comes outside, followed immediately by the King himself.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Barivure, you are the best! God bless the woman that gave birth…
QUEEN BIABEKEE: What is happening here? Son, bring her down! (The prince is not even listening.)
BARIVURE: (Now much afraid of what would follow.) My Prince, please, bring me down!
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Comes closer; shouts.) Bring her down!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Now breathing heavily from the exercise.) Mum, you cannot believe it. More than an earthly princess is in this palace right now!
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Confused.) Has Princess Gold arrived? And is that why you should be lifting an ordinary, classless, faceless, nameless, inconsequential and low-pedigree maid? Meanwhile, where is she? Where is my joy? Where is the Morning Sun hiding that I may behold her ever-precious womanhood?
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Reasoning aloud.) I thought that I had enough weights in the Royal Gym? (Calls Scorpion.) Guard 1!
SCORPION: Yes, Your Majesty.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Why didn’t you tell my son that there are enough weights in the Royal Gym or are there some missing?
SCORPION: No, Your Majesty. All are intact.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Very happy.) Do you know, Dad and Mum, that Barivure got all the questions I asked her, including some university questions? I never knew a maid could be as brilliant as that.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Thoroughly disappointed.) So, is that why you were lifting her like that? (Faces Maid 2.) Follow me, right now!
NARRATOR: (She moves about ten steps and then turns back again to her and gives her six God-forsaken slaps. Each slap reverberates: “Tawaa”! “Tawaa!” “Tawaa!”)
BARIVURE: (Yelling.) My God Ooo! Please, save me Ooo! What have I done wrong?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Mum, stop slapping her like that. What crime did she commit that makes you slap her like that apart from poverty?
(She gives more slaps. He moves to take her away from his mother.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Son, I forbid you making a step. Stay where you are. (He obeys.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Panting; points at her.) From this minute, you cease to be the maid in charge of my son. (Calls.) Maid 1.
AATOR: Yes, Her Majesty.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: From this minute, you will be in charge of my son. Do you understand?
AATOR: Yes, Her Majesty.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Mum, this is very callous of you! I never expected this from you. Had it been all went well with her, at age twenty four, she should have been in her husband’s house.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Ignoring him.) Go and prepare his dinner. I want it perfectly done. You know that he is all that I have after God and my husband – the King. The next I see as a human being is the extremely beautiful angel, Princess Gold of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom. Do you understand?
AATOR: Yes, My Queen.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Dad, you are here and you saw the grave injustice meted out on one of your loyal subjects and you kept quiet and worse still, prevented me from intervening. Dad, this is quite inhuman.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Turns, looks at his son for some seconds, smiles, speaks, buffeting him with proverbs.) The toad does not move in the day time for nothing. It is either it is after something or something is after it. A tree does not sway this way or that way except there is breeze. What an old man sees sitting down, a child may not see it even if he were to stand on the Iroko tree. My Son, when the belly of a pregnant woman protrudes so much and descends downwards, be sure that in no time, she will give birth. If there is so much smoke emanating from a hut, without concerted effort at reversing it, be sure that in no time the house will be on fire.
Come, My Son, I want to talk with you. Everybody should go to his or her duty post.
NARRATOR: (Everybody leaves the scene, Barivure, still sobbing. The Prince, though annoyed, still obeys his father and follows him. Light fades.)
ACT TWO SCENE FOUR
NARRATOR: (AT THE CIVIC CENTRE. EVERYBODY IS NOW ALMOST SEATED. THE OCCASION IS THE KINGDOM BEAUTY PAGEANT AND MARRIAGE CEREMONY OF THE PRINCE. THE TIME IS 5:20PM. TRADITIONAL MUSIC IN THE OGONI LANGUAGE IS PLAYING, UNDERSCORING THE OCCASION. EVERYTHING IS NOW SET.)
ANNOUNCER: Today is a great day. It is the grand finale of the three-day reception ceremony in honour of Prince Raphael, the Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa Kingdom. Please, ladies and gentlemen, be sure you sit at the proper places. We have seats for the first-class chiefs, second-class chiefs, other chiefs, the political class, the professional class, the clergy, the…
SIREN: (Interrupting.) Pii! Paa! Pii! Paa!
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, I am glad to announce the arrival of Senator Maxwell Dumle Kiebel, the “Son of the Soil” and his entourage. Please, all rise and give honour to whom honour is due.
TOWNSPEOPLE: (Talking variously.) Our Senator, welcome Ooo! Senator Maxwell, we love you! Welcome to your root!
(Senator Maxwell waves as he is driven in. He is led to his deserved seat. Just then Gberemene Callistus enters with his entourage.)
ANNOUNCER: I am glad, ladies and gentlemen, to announce the arrival of a traditional ‘heavyweight’, Gberemene Callistus Daakpee W.P.Z. Baadom XV, King of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom in the company of his chiefs, wife and precious daughter, Princess Gold – the first and only Aeronautical Engineer in the whole of our state. Please, hail him ladies and… (Just then, Gberemene Kabaka arrives with Prince Raphael in his company.)
Ooo! Ladies and gentlemen, I wish everyday were today. It is my pleasure to announce the arrival of the Lion himself, Gberemene Longinus Faanagii Nengiaa Kabaaka IX – the King of Bara Eesaa Kingdom. All hail the Lion himself.
TOWNSPEOPLE: (Talking, yelling and waving variously in admiration of the royal dignitaries.) Welcome Ooo! Your loyal subjects bow in greeting! May your reign be long! (They gradually take their seats. There is now some quietness.)
ANNOUNCER: May I call on the King of Bara Eesaa to declare the ceremony open.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: I, Gberemene Kabaka, acting upon the powers bestowed on me as the King of Bara Eesaa Kingdom, declare this ceremony open. (All applaud him.)
ANNOUNCER: His Highnesses, Honourables, Ladies and Gentlemen, as you well know, Kingdom Beauty Pageant is a ceremony that happens once in five years. This season’s pageant is unique in that it coincides with the home-coming and marriage ceremony of our Crown Prince. I, therefore, call upon the Pageant Manager to continue from here.
PAGEANT MANAGER: All protocols observed. Pageantry, as you know, aims at selecting from among a number of contestants, the most beautiful girl. The yardsticks for determining the most beautiful are three – (1) Beauty of the face and body = 30%, (2) Beauty of the mind, that is innate intelligence = 45% (3) Beauty of character, Etiquette and Grace = 25%.
The first place (Gold) winner receives instantly, a cheque of N700,000; Second place (Silver) winner, N550,000 while third place (Bronze) winner receives N400,000. Besides, the first-place winner automatically represents our kingdom at the state level. Each contestant stands the chance of being picked as the bride of the Crown Prince.
I now call on the secretary of the pageant committee to announce the names, communities, highest qualifications and ages of the contestants. (She sits down.)
PAGEANT SECRETARY: All protocols observed. I now call on the contestants. Please, applaud them as they step forward.
(1) Barinem Lelap Daagoni – Bon Ka community; B. Sc, M. Sc. (Accounting); University of Port Harcourt; 26 years.
(2) Bridget Leesi Baadom – Nvee Nvin community; B.A English; University of Port Harcourt; 23 years.
(3) Kate Lepabia Sibe – Ke Eesa community; HND Banking and Finance, Ken Saro Wiwa Polytechnic, Bori; 21 years.
(4) Monale Kobaa Pa-Mogho – Bon Le community; B. Eng. Chemical/ Petroleum/ Petrochemical Engineering, Rivers State University, Port Harcourt; 24 years.
(5) Barisitom Legbara Nkiaa – Kpooge community; B.A (Ed.) French, Ignatius Ajuru University of Education, Port Harcourt; 22years.
(6) Peace Leziga Eenvin – Ledogho community; OND, Public Administration; Port Harcourt Polytechnic; 20 years.
(7) Queen Kadilobari Kiaabon - Bon Dem community; B. Sc, M. Sc (Sociology), University of Port Harcourt; 27 years.
(8) Esther Vigale Kobaa - Bara Nkova community; OND, HND Civil Engineering, Federal Polytechnic, Nekede; 24 years.
(He calls other contestants.)
(19) Joy Popsira Kokoo - Kpo Ngoi community; B. Pharm. (Pharmacy), University of Uyo; 23 years.
(20) Mercy Barinaakerenen Si-ol – Dubara community; B. Sc Marketing, Federal University of Technology, Owerri; 24 years.
Ladies and gentlemen, this season’s pageant is unique in that, one of the contestants is from another kingdom, a close friend of the prince. I call on Contestant No. 21 – Princess Gold Giobia Callistus Daakpee Wilberforce Popgbara Zoorele Baadom.
NARRATOR: (Crowd applaud wildly amidst fanfare, firstly due to the personality of the person bearing the name and secondly, the lengthy nature of the name itself. She is being attended to by five maids – four from her own kingdom and Maid 2 from Bara Eesaa Kingdom; two, holding up her royal attire; Maid 2 throwing ceremonial flower chips on her path while the fourth is holding upon her head, the Royal Umbrella, despite the fact that there is no sun. The fifth occasionally uses extra-white handkerchiefs to dab her face. She rises, moves gracefully with all the pomp that befit her personality.)
PAGEANT SECRETARY: It is okay, ladies and gentlemen. (Applause and fanfare subside.) Princess Gold has B. Eng.: Electronic and Computer Engineering from the University of Birmingham and an M. Eng.: Aeronautical Engineering from the University of Glasgow, Scotland. She is 25 years – the eldest child and only daughter of the King of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom – His Highness, Gberemene Callistus Daakpee Wilberforce Popgbara Zoorele Baadom XV. (Another round of applause.) It is okay, ladies and gentlemen. That’s enough.
NARRATOR: (Applause and fanfare subside. All the twenty one contestants are now lined up. Cameramen are now everywhere, snapping and videoing.)
PAGEANT SECRETARY: Each contestant will now move in front of the audience to show off her beauty and grace. (That is done; the panel of judges noting.) Next, each contestant will now sit before the Panel of Judges, who will interview her in the areas of Academics, Ethics, Etiquette, Reasoning, Current Affairs and General Knowledge. This is to determine the intelligence of each of them.
Meanwhile, I call on the Gbo Lebia of Bara Eesaa Kingdom to entertain us.
NARRATOR: (They take the stage as the interview is going on. Within thirty five minutes, the Panel of Judges signals the Pageant Secretary that they are through.)
PAGEANT SECRETARY: Thanks a lot, the Gbo Lebia of Bara Eesaa for your thrilling, waist-breaking display. Ladies and gentlemen, may I call on the Bara Gaagaa Royal Voices – a first-rate a cappella group to grace this occasion as the Panel of Judges do their final summations and prepare for the result declaration.
NARRATOR: (Within ten minutes the Panel of Judges signals him that they are through and hand the result to the Pageant Manager. At this point, there is a mild tension. Everywhere is quiet.)
PAGEANT MANAGER: Thank you, Bara Gaagaa Royal Voices. All protocols observed. This season’s pageant is now at its peak and here is the result. Third Place (Bronze) Winner – Miss Lekova Aavaga Baakel from Bon Giaa community – 46 points. Please, applaud her. (A rich applause.) Thank you! Thank you! (The applause subsides.)
Second Place (Silver) Winner – Miss Monale Kobaa Pa-Mogho from Bon Le community – 49 points. Please, applaud her. (There is an even richer applause.) Thank you! Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! (The applause subsides.)
The overall – I mean, the Gold Winner (Stops a bit; breathes in; nods as she paces, looks at the crowd, section by section. Their anxiety is now almost at breaking point. Then, suddenly breaks the anxiety), winning by an unbelievable 54 points, is the delectable, ever-shiny, adorable, gorgeous, spotless-skinned Bara Gaagaa Princess, Princess Gold Giobia Callistus Daakpee William Popgbara Zoorele Baadom. (There is wild applause even before her request for it. The fanfare and applause go on more than three minutes despite her appeal for silence.) It is okay! Thanks ladies and gentle men! That’s enough! (A measure of silence.)
I now call upon the Lion of Bara Eesaa Kingdom to present the prizes.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Miss Lekova of Bon Giaa, you have done well. Here is your prize – N400,000. (He shakes hands with her and gives the cheque. Applause. Camera snapping and video shooting.)
Miss Monale of Bon Le, you have done even better. Here is your prize – N550,000. (He shakes hands with her and also gives the cheque. Applause. Cameramen snapping. Then he faces Princess Gold and smiles even the more.)
Oooo! My Angel! The People’s Delight! The fiancée of my Diamond Son! (She grins and chuckles.) The future queen of Bara Eesaa Kingdom! (She chuckles shyly in the manner of ladies.) MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW! (She now laughs conspicuously.) Here is your well-deserved prize – N700,000. (There is wild ovation and fanfare. He sits down.)
ANNOUNCER: Thank you! That’s okay, ladies and gentlemen! Enough! (The applause and fanfare subside). May I now call upon the Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa Kingdom to name or choose his bride.
NARRATOR: The announcer sits down. Prince Raphael stands, looks at each contestant, one after the other, smiling; they smile back, Princess Gold’s, the most conspicuous. All the contestants are indeed epitomes of African beauty. He looks again from the end to the beginning. Then, he suddenly seizes Maid 2 who is throwing flower chips at Princess Gold’s path.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Dad, Mum and the people of Bara Eesaa Kingdom, from today, I choose Barivure as my bride and wife.
NARRATOR: There is commotion. Maid 2, herself, is totally confused. She has not been expecting such twist at all. She has only been taking Prince Raphael as a person who is there to help secure a little happiness for her and possibly her job as a maid, or at most, assist in her academic pursuit. Marriage is the last thing she has ever been thinking about. She is totally afraid. Her life is really in danger. Prince Raphael starts kissing her. She pleads.)
BARIVURE: Please, leave me alone. I am all that my mother has. Please lea… (They are forcefully separated by the queen.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Leave her alone, this minute, Son.
NARRATOR: (Princess Gold, seeing what happens, runs unattended to her parents, sobbing. The two kings are completely dumbfounded. They never envisaged the twist.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Recovering quickly from the ‘dream’; calls fumingly.) Guard 2! Guard 3!
BOTH: (Both answer in unison; run madly to her.) Yes, Her Majesty.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Bundle this goat (pointing at Maid 2) into the boot of my red jeep.
BOTH: (In unison.) Okay, Your Majesty.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Calls.) Driver 2!
KOLOOLE: (Answers; runs to her madly.) Yes, Her Majesty.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Drive me at 140km/hour to the palace, now. Driver 1!
NDUBA: (Answers alertly.) Yes, Her Majesty.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Drive His Majesty and The Prince gently to the palace. Don’t exceed 70km/hour. Do you understand?
NDUBA: I perfectly understand.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Guard 1! (Scorpion answers.) Inform all the remaining palace workers to be at the palace within the next five minutes. I must end this nonsense now.
SCORPION: Okay, Her Majesty.
NARRATOR: (Gberemene Kabaka is now ‘recuperating’ from the shock. Uncontrolled anger now replaces the shock. He is driven to the palace. Meanwhile, Gberemene Callistus leaves furiously with his daughter and entourage. The crowd disperses, some rushing to the palace to see what would become of Maid 2. Light fades.)
ACT THREE SCENE ONE
NARRATOR: (AT THE GBEREMENE’S PALACE. THE TIME IS 7:15 PM. THE GATE IS FLUNG OPEN TO LET IN VEHICLES DRIVING IN AT BREAK-NECK SPEEDS. SHE ALIGHTS EVEN BEFORE THE CAR FINALLY STOPS.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Ordering Hippo.) Guard 4, open the boot! (He does hurriedly). Bring “the goat” down. (Ordering) Guard 3, bring me three “Kobokos.” (Maid 2 cries now even more loudly).
BARIVURE: “Ndaabari O! Nveeba nem, e Bari e! Iye m sanyielo, e Bari e! Ndaabari …” (My God O! Help me, O God! Have mercy upon me, O Lord! My God…)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Shut up your gutter called mouth now or I will fill it with refuse from that heap there (pointing at a refuse heap of rotten food and household waste awaiting evacuation by refuse collectors. Just then the king’s entourage arrives coinciding with Hippo rushing out to the scene with the three “kobokos” requested).
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Where is she? That bastard! Give me the kobokos let me strangle life out of …
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Entreating softly): Oh, My Honey, do not allow this to give you high blood pressure; I can handle it, please, my husband.
NARRATOR: (He calms down a little, though still looming over Maid 2. Chiefs run to ‘commiserate’ with him. Just then, Prince Raphael, who has refused to come home with the king, arrives.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Let no harm touch my chosen bride if you still want me to be the Prince Raphael that you know.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Hotly.) Shut up, Son, else I will act in a way I have never acted for the past twenty seven years of your life. (He obeys despite his state. The king turns and looks away from them, deep in thought, then turns abruptly and faces the chiefs, like one that has discovered a secret. Faces Chief Agbidum first.)
When one early morning, three years ago, we suddenly saw Ndaagoni Nvinka bathing mud in the gutter, naked, what did we do, Chief Agbidum?
CHIEF AGBIDUM: His Highness, we took her to the village health centre and she was diagnosed of acute cerebral malaria. We treated her and she was well again.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Hmm! I see! (Faces Chief Legedu next.) When one Deebom morning, during the yam harvest season five years ago, when we suddenly saw Barika Doba with excessive scrotum and with manhood measuring about sixteen inches long, what did we do, Chief Legedu?
CHIEF LEGEDU: (Thinks for a while.) We took him to Rev. (Dr) Anthony Saana Daakọọrlọr, the General Overseer of The Church of Celestial Ecstasy. He prayed, cast and bound and both the over-elongated manhood and over-size scrotum returned to their original sizes.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Nodding.) I see! (Faces Chief Kobaa.) And during the first weeding period four years ago during the marriage of Barisere and Nlekova, what did we observe, Chief Kobaa?
CHIEF KOBAA: We observed that while Barisere, the bride, gave the wine to Nlekova, the groom, instead of him drinking it and then handing over the cup to her as a public witness that he accepted the marriage to her, he suddenly poured it down and broke the cup and ran immediately to Barinaakerenen, the daughter of Nkembia Nnaalee-e and took her to his house.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: And what did we do?
CHIEF KOBAA: We took the matter to Gboro gbosi – the Mouth of the Gods. He showed all the machinations of her mother, Nkembia, as well as where she buried the charm with which she bewitched Nlekova to marry her daughter. We went to her house, broke the earthen pot, unearthed and destroyed the charm and broke the mirror and that same minute, to our greatest surprise, Nlekova asked the same woman he had been living with for some days - “who are you and what are you doing in my house? Where is Barisere my wife?”
GBEREMENE KABAKA (Exclaims suddenly): Perfect! Perfect! I see! (Faces Queen Biabekee abruptly.) Honey, I will vouchsafe your request but if after twenty four hours, I do not see Princess Gold in this house, I will take it that you could not undo the charm that Maid 2 and her witch mother used in tying my son. Then I shall swing into action.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Leave this for me, my darling husband. I shall give you feedback within the next twenty four hours.
NARRATOR: (He faces the chiefs nodding in silence, who themselves, conspicuously express various moods of sympathy regarding his ‘predicament’).
CHIEF KOBAA: His Highness, no matter how hot the sun shines in the afternoon, it must set in the evening.
CHIEF TOMII: And no matter how harsh the harmattan blows in December and January, the merciless February to March sunshine will always extinguish its cold memory.
CHIEF LEGEDU: The tail of a lion is a vain wish for a toddler. The day the puppy starts dreaming of the heart of a lioness for dinner, that is the day it begins its journey to the land of the silent ones. Shoes have sizes and one who wants to wear shoes, must choose his or her size.
CHIEF AGBIDUM: Is it not only an exercise in self-destruction that would make a one-legged, blind man sound war drum at the backyard of Mgiaagbara, the world-acclaimed wrestler and warrior, who single-handedly decimated Bon-Peele, tearing open those with children and slaughtering the young men as butchers do cows and then crossed seven rivers and seas to the world of the spirits and brought back the head of the ugly demon - Kokoi?
His Highness, any evil drum against you and your administration will not sound and the drummers will, by and by, receive the heat of the impending inferno. This is a promise.
CHIEF KOBAA: It is well, our king. I believe in the queen.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Thanks, my loyal chiefs. I go take my rest. (Exit. Light fades.
ACT THREE SCENE TWO
NARRATOR: (AT QUEEN BIABEKEE’S CHAMBER. MAID 2 HAS BEEN DRAGGED THERE, CRYING HELPLESSLY. THE THREE “KOBOKOS” ARE ON THE TABLE WITH A PEN, PLAIN FOOLSCAP SHEET, STAPLER AND AN ENVELOPE).
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Yelling.) Guard 4! Guard 4!
HIPPO: (Running madly.) Yes, Her Majesty. (He enters inside, panting).
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Pointing at Maid 2.) Strip this ‘goat’ naked; leave only the pant and bra.
HIPPO: (Finding it very difficult.) Jesus Christ! You mean I... I... should… ehmm! Eeh!
NARRATOR: She takes a “koboko” and lashes him with all her strength. The force coupled with the pain makes Guard 4 urinate in his trousers and also gives him an eternal mark across his back. He hurriedly tries to remove her clothes, Maid 2 not allowing him to nude her, making her bra and blouse tear, partly exposing her virgin-like breasts. The commotion makes Prince Raphael come inside).
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Mum, have no harm done to my… (Sees her with only torn bra and underwear). Mum, you dare naked my wife – the woman that I publicly showed to Bara Eesaa kingdom as my wife?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: She is not and cannot be your wife. How can a high school leaver – a maid at that, the daughter of a nameless, sick and smelly, half-dead PEPPER SELLER and a dead-and-gone, ORDINARY PALM WINE TAPPER, who was a grade-one pauper while he lived his miserable, vagabond and God-forsaken life on earth, be the wife of the only son of Queen Biabekee, who himself, is the Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa kingdom, adorning these with a Masters degree in Petroleum and Gas Engineering from Russia?
Son, you are clearly bewitched. (Now smiling in crescendo.) For your information, you are from Planet Bliss, where there is neither night nor sorrow; where even the roads are all made of pure gold and the rivers that flow are as clear as crystal, purer than the purest ice; where there is no pain neither do people get sick, old or die.
(Now in rapture.) Son, for your information, the city walls of the planet where you come from, I mean Planet Bliss, are sumptuously decorated with every kind of first-rate precious stones – gems and pearls of the highest order: jasper, sapphire, chalcedony, emerald, sardonyx, carnelian, chrysolite, beryl, topaz, chrysoprase, jacinth and amethyst.
(Laughing sarcastically; pointing at Maid 2.) But she? She is from Planet Hades or even Planet Hell – dark, lonely, filthy, smoke-laden, void, sorrowful and extremely hot – hotter than the sun with its surface temperature of about 6,000Oc; in fact, God-forsaken – meant for demons, idiots, toads, vultures, serpents, grade-one morons and possibly, vampires and ghosts of unsaved souls, wandering and groping perpetually – eternally doomed.
(Becoming stern in crescendo.) Both of you were not, cannot and will never be of the same world, not to mention marrying. Tufia! Over my dead body! (Now extremely stern; stressing each word.) NOT WHILE I, QUEEN BIABEKEE, THE INDEFATIGABLE ‘LIONESS’ OF BARA EESAA KINGDOM, STILL BREATHE.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Mum, I am not bewitched. That Maid 2, is the love of my life. She lives in my soul, Mum. That Barivure, which you give the name Maid 2, is the air that I breathe. Try to understand, Mum. Love is a matter of the heart. Please, give us your blessings, Mum, for that Maid 2 is the woman I want to marry. Either I marry her or no marriage at all. The earlier we understand ourselves, the better.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Ignoring him.) Guard 3, give her ten “solid” “Koboko” lashes. (Danga gives the first three. Maid 2 cries beyond control. Prince Raphael runs to stop him.) Guards 1 and 2, take my son to his chamber and lock him up, now!
NARRATOR: (Scorpion and Bullet drag Prince Raphael. A loud commotion, however, they succeed. Gberemene comes out; Prince breaks the door, hurrying to halt Danga, who is now on the fifth lash).
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Guards 1, 2, and 4, take him to the Palace Cell. In less than forty eight hours, he will vomit whatever he swallowed. This is a promise!
NARRATOR: (They drag him and lock him in the palace cell. Fiiab! Guard 3 gives the last whip. Maid 2 almost collapses, the whipping sending her body into spasm. A mixture of mucus, tears, dust, sand and sweat turns her momentarily into an object of scorn –completely rejected and dejected.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Look at you. I picked you from the gutter, cleaned you and made you a maid to stay within the kitchen of power and cook delicious meals for the royal family. I saw when you and other maids started walking at the corridors of power but I kept calm, thinking that it would not be wise if you spend your 24-hour day only at the kitchen. How on earth would I have known that you have graduated to the extent that you not only entered the living room of power but also entered the bedroom of power and desecrated the esteemed royal bed of power, and diabolically captured the soul of the only person I see as a human being on the earth’s surface apart from His Majesty, the King of Bara Eesaa kingdom? Oh, I left my soup pot unattended; now my soup is almost burnt!
BARIVURE: (Sobbing tearfully.) Her Majesty, I swear to God that I did not…
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Much enraged.) Shut up your gutter of a mouth or I shall not hesitate to smash your God-forsaken head with this hammer, you leech-like, atavistic and moronic nincompoop! How on earth did you even dream for a second that you could marry Prince Raphael, my diamond son, the Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa Kingdom, my earthly god? ‘The whale and the shrimp may both live within the ocean, little girl, but the shrimp is a shrimp and the whale is a whale.’ The marriage of my earthly god to Princess Gold is as sure as having day and night every twenty four hours. Not even the Lucifer that caused war in Heaven has the audacity, capacity and capability to stop it, little rat. That would be tantamount to being on a suicide mission.
(Throwing a handkerchief at her.) Clean your tears. Sit down on this chair. Take the pen and write what I am going to dictate now. Write tomorrow’s date first. (She writes.)
Dear Princess Gold,
It is a pity that I caused you so much embarrassment yesterday. I am the low-pedigree, gold-digging, fifth-class, sub-human – a common palace maid that craftily, connivingly, stealthily and magically took away from you, at the eleventh hour, your age-old, God-given husband – Prince Raphael, the diamond prince of Bara Eesaa Kingdom. Please, forgive me. Such nonsense will never repeat itself. I bet my head.
Your husband, Prince Raphael, did all he did under the spell that I and my mother cast on him. Of course, you know that naturally, Prince Raphael won’t abandon all the twenty maidens at the pageant and especially you, his fiancée and overall winner of the pageant, a beauty goddess par excellence with a Masters degree, to marry me, an ordinary maid – a common high school leaver and daughter of a nameless, sick and smelly, local pepper seller and whose father, a dead-and-gone, local, village palm wine tapper – a sub-human, a non-entity, a grade-one illiterate and a pauper of the highest order.
The spell was aborted last night in a breath-taking prayer session led by Rev. (Dr.) Anthony Saana Daakoorlor – the General Overseer of The Church of Celestial Ecstasy. He is completely free now and desperately wants to see you, his God-given wife.
Please, find a place in your heart to forgive him too. He would have come with us but he is still too heart-broken and guilty conscious to face you himself. That is why I decided to come myself as his forerunner and also formally write this letter to you.
Once again, accept my apology and have mercy upon me. I sincerely wish you an unparalleled, ne’er-seen, ne’er-heard and an awe-inspiring nuptial bliss and an unprecedented grandeur of family life. May Providence pour unquantifiable success on all your undertakings in Jesus' name, amen. Bye!
Your Repentant Servant,
Maid 2.
(Bara Eesaa Kingdom.)
You have a signature, I know that. Sign after the complementary close. (Done). Okay, fold it extremely carefully and put it into the envelope. (Done). Good girl; nice work done! Early in the morning tomorrow, you will be accompanied by Guards 1 and 2, to give her the letter. Driver 2 will convey the three of you. You may leave now to your room and have some rest. “He that blows the pipe also blows his nose”. Good night! (She herself retires. Light fades.)
ACT THREE SCENE THREE
NARRATOR: (WITHIN THE PALACE. THE TIME IS 6:00AM THE FOLLOWING DAY. THEY ARE GETTING READY FOR THE JOURNEY TO PRINCESS GOLD.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Shaking the cell iron bars violently.) Open the padlock, I want to urinate! (He shakes again so violently.) I said, “Open the padlock; I want to urinate. Is there no one here with a human face? – I mean no one with human feeling and sympathy?”
If it is my marriage desire to Maid 2 that is causing all this, I have reneged on the idea. Dad and Mum, go get Princess Gold for me immediately. I want to see her before the end of today. (Both parents look at each other, dumbfounded.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Do you really mean that you have reneged on the bizarre idea of marrying that fifth-class human called, Maid 2?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Yes, Mum. I didn’t know that I was all the while kicking against the goads. Oh, how sore my feet now are!
Was I dreaming when I abandoned my Masters-degree-certificate-holder fiancée intending to marry a palace maid with only a school certificate? How on earth did I even conceive the idea in the first place? (Both parents look at each other again.)
(Facing Maid 2) Maid 2, what did you put into my food? (She is totally afraid.) You can not answer? I asked, “what did you put into my food?” So you, in your wildest imagination of marrying me, gave me a love potion instead food. Are you not aware that I already have a wife?
BARIVURE: My Prince, I did not put any thing into your food. I don’t even know how a love potion looks like, My Prince. Please, help me. I am dying gradually. I did not use any love potion on you, I swear with my life.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Shut up, you child of the Devil! Do you have any life to swear with?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Ordering.) Driver 1, get my RAV4 jeep ready within the next forty minutes. Maid 1, prepare my food within the next thirty minutes. I must be in Bara Gaagaa Kingdom within the next one hour to see my adorable Princess Gold. I must end all this nonsense within the next one hour thirty minutes. (Both parents are overjoyed.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Today is among the happiest days of my life. This is the kind of news I was expecting to hear. (Ordering) Guard 1!
SCORPION: Yes, Your Majesty.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Go immediately to the Kingdom Secretary. Tell him in my name to summon an emergency meeting of the Council of Chiefs and Elders by 11am in my palace. There is joy in my heart! There is joy in my heart at last! (Calls.) Maid 2!
BARIVURE: (Tearfully, frightfully.) Yes, Y-Your Ma- Ma- Majesty.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: My rage against you is gradually coming down. You indeed have no idea of what I, the Lion of Bara Eesaa Kingdom, wanted to do with you if by this time tomorrow my Precious Son had not changed his mind. I wanted to devour you alive like a ferocious lion that I am known far and wide. The manner in which you would have been devoured is more than what your little, commoner brain can comprehend. Thank your Star. If you know how to pray, kneel down and tell your God, “thank you.” Right now I see you as Daniel out of the Lions den.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Calls) Maid I.
AATOR: Yes, Her Majesty.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Take a pen and plain sheet of paper from the library. Sit with Maid 3 and Maid 4 and plan the best fried rice and okazi soup that can ever be cooked in this life. Make a list for about a hundred high-calibre guests and friends. Add drinks, fruits and desserts. I want a three-course meal here.
When you are done, present the list to Lady K immediately for vetting to be actually sure that it is worth the celebration. Lady K herself, will also inspect the cooking and be sure that it is A1. I respect her sense of judgement, penchant for quality taste and her unfathomable culinary expertise and experience.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: I want to receive the report within the next forty minutes and at most one hour. I hope you perfectly…
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Interrupting) Dad, I said that I want to pee. Now I am really pressed too of poo. We can settle all that later. My brain has returned to me, Mum. I can see clearly now. I was indeed bewitched beyond measure. Glory be to God! The Devil is a liar.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: An incorrigible liar, My Son! I knew that all was not well.
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Oh, I am sorry, My Wonderful, God-given Son. You have no idea of what I felt before and what I feel now. Okay, open for him.
(Guards 3 and 4 come closer; open the cell. He comes out and suddenly grabs the rifle from Guard 3).
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Extremely annoyed; hand on trigger, aiming at Guard 4.) Drop that gun, now! I said “drop the gun before I open your belly (sees the exchange goat behind him) as I do to this goat now.” “Tawaa!”
NARRATOR: His father would have presented the goat to Gold’s father as he takes Princess Gold as wife had it been their marriage was concluded. The bullet scatters the skull of the goat, shattering its brain. The community is astir. Chiefs are alerted and make haste to the palace).
GBEREMENE KABAKA: It is all right, Son. Drop the gun, Guard 4. (Guard 4 obeys.)
PRINCE RAPHAEL: (Hand still on trigger.) All you guards, enter this cell, now! (They hesitate a little). Enter before I do to one of you what I just did to this goat.
NARRATOR: (He releases the second bullet; the sound makes them hurry inside the cell like frightened rats. He locks them up. The parents are dumbfounded, not knowing what will happen next).
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Maids 3 and 4, follow my wife and pack her belongings and come here right now. (They obey.) You, Maid 1, go into my sitting room, bring the three cases on the sofa here. (She obeys. Then, facing Maid 2).
Barivure, my love! My angel! Paragon of natural African beauty! Reservoir of knowledge and an embodiment of hardwork and rare, sought-after manners! The sole repository of invaluable ethics and feminine etiquette! Come! The one who makes my heart beat! The most worthy companion any sane human will ever dream of having! Come to me! The dream of any wise man! Epitome of womanhood! Come to me! Come to your love! Come to where you belong! Enter the ash-coloured jeep.
No more shall life continue to make a mockery of your precious soul. YOUR SORROW ENDS TODAY. (Chiefs arrive but seeing him with gun, aiming, they dodge and hide for fear. Addressing the Maids.) Pack the entire luggage into the boot of the vehicle. (Calls.) Driver 2!
KOLOOLE: (Answers.) Yes, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Start the vehicle. (Calls.) Gatekeeper 1!
KOOMAGAH: (Answers). Yes, My Prince.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Open the gate wide! (Koomaga obeys. He enters with his wife.) Now, drive us out to where I will tell you later.
NARRATOR: (They zoom off. His parents are completely dumbfounded; everything happens as in a movie. Both shrug, unlock the guards and go inside, extremely sorrowful. Chiefs come out of their hiding places and console the king and the queen. Light fades.)
ACT THREE SCENE FOUR
NARRATOR: (OUTSIDE THE PALACE GATE. THE CHIEFS ARE NOW RETURNING HOME FROM CONSOLING THE PARAMOUT RULER.)
CHIEF LEGEDU: But my fellow chiefs, do you think that the Prince is normal at all? What on earth would make a man leave a woman as beautiful, gorgeous, classy and royal as Princess Gold to another woman?
CHIEF AGBIDUM: Of a truth, I have never seen such a beauty in my entire life. Her front is perfect! Her back is adorable! Her skin looks as if a spring would erupt – completely spotless and extremely shiny. I don’t think that sun has ever beaten her even for a minute. I don’t also think that she has seen a mosquito in her entire life not to mention being bitten by one. The smoothness of her skin surpasses that of a direct-from-factory mirror. And her face? – Paradise! She is simply an angel among humans!
CHIEF TOMII: I agree with you, Chief Agbidum. It baffles me too, that a man could leave such a woman – a woman with a Master’s degree in Aeronautical Engineering, trained in two UK universities; the only daughter of the popular Gberemene Callistus of Bara Gaagaa Kingdom – a grade one business tycoon with millions of dollars in his account almost every minute of the day, to marry a palace maid with just Senior School Certificate, got from Community Secondary School, Bon Saakee, at my backyard there (pointing). A maid whose father – an ordinary palm wine tapper, has died a long time ago and her mother - an ailing pepper seller at Bon Saakee local market, is extremely unsightly. (Sighs so loudly; shakes his head.) I do not think all is well, my fellow chiefs. Something is wrong somewhere. My mind tells me that something is going on that none of us know.
CHIEF KOBAA: What are you still insinuating, Chief Tomii?
CHIEF LEGEDU: (Interposing.) What else do you want Chief Tomii to say, Chief Kobaa? Which man in his right senses, including you, will say ‘no’ to Princess Gold – a princess from heaven - angel in human form? Oh, I wish I were still in my twenties and thirties! Nothing would have stopped me from selling all my farmlands at Bara Nkagbara farmland zone to marry her.
Chiefs, did you see her eyes? – Pure white! And her cheeks? – Amorously dimply! When she smiled, I almost ran from my seat to grab her, hug her, kiss her, squeeze her and be sure that I suck every bit of saliva from that her succulent, delectable, sugar-laden, wonderfully-…
CHIEF KOBAA: (Interrupting.) Hee! Hee! Hee! Stop! Chief Legedu. I know that you did not come with an extra pair of trousers. Please, be careful that you may not soil the only one you came with. Everybody knows that Princess Gold is adorable. Yes, she is ravishing. But I really think now that Prince Raphael sees something in Maid 2…
CHIEF AGBIDUM: (Interposing.) That he could not find a thousand times in Princess Gold?
CHIEF TOMII: (Corroborating.) Which tends to buttress the fact that some kind of foul play must have been committed somewhere along the line, right under our nose. How come it is only one person that is not seeing what everybody else is seeing?
CHIEF KOBAA: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Right now, I do not think that Prince Raphael is bewitched. I think, he found his love and there is nothing anybody can do about it, including his own parents.
I am now quite convinced that there are other qualities which he sees in the maid apart from the wealth, degrees, gorgeousness and royalty which we are seeing. He is not a baby, you know. Apart from that, he is exposed and highly educated. He knows what he likes and dislikes and what he ultimately wants for himself. At least his action, especially the one we observed few minutes ago, is a final testament that his marriage desire to the maid is cut-and-dried.
Please, let us give the case of Prince Raphael and Maid 2 a rest and face pressing kingdom businesses. The tempest is already raving. Let’s cushion it and not embark on anything or tender insinuations that will only, ultimately rock the boat.
Please, Chief Tomii, don’t forget to immediately e-mail the new kingdom bank account to Mr. Anderson Stone, the Finance Manager of Orchozil Oil (Nig.) Ltd, so as to hasten this month’s royalty payment. Hiccups are the last things we expect now. His Highness has already phoned him and let him to know that you will soon send it.
CHIEF TOMII: I will send it as soon as I reach home.
CHIEF KOBAA: Chief Agbidum, don’t forget to notify Tee Kurute, the engineer handling the kingdom Vigilante building to hasten up the job so as to meet up the 31 December deadline given to him.
CHIEF AGBIDUM: That will be done.
CHIEF KOBAA: Thanks, fellow chiefs. We may retire to our various houses. (Exeunt. Light fades.)
ACT FOUR SCENE ONE
(INTERLUDE)
NARRATOR: (Prince Raphael and Maid 2 drive to Port Harcourt, take a flight from the Port Harcourt International Airport, Omagwa to Murtala Mohammed Airport, Lagos; from there, to Heathrow Airport, London.
Maid 2 is enrolled immediately at Newcastle University, Newcastle Upon-Tyne, United Kingdom, where she studies Medicine, graduating with an MBBS.
After that, she is registered at the University of Liverpool, United Kingdom, where she specializes in Cardio-vascular surgery. Her extra-ordinary brilliance, astuteness and meticulousness make the Royal Liverpool University Hospital retain her as Consultant Surgeon with all the full employment package that the position demands– an official car, a three-bedroom apartment, health insurance, travel allowances, children education package, retirement savings account, one-month leave with payments etc., adorning these with a net annual salary of £106,892 (One Hundred and Six Thousand, Eight Hundred and Ninety Two Pounds).
She has successfully handled cases of dilated cardiomyopathy; cardiac surgery; cardiac transplant; shock; atrial fibrillation; heart arrhythmia – bradycardia and tachycardia; atherosclerotic disease; extra hypertension cases - 170/110 mm/Hg and over; valvular heart conditions – stenosis, regurgitation and prolapse; cardiac asthma; Cerebro-vascular accident (stroke); heart attack etc.
Meanwhile, at home, King Kabaka, the queen and indeed the people of Bara Eesaa have been worried about the Crown Prince’s elopement with Maid 2. The king is suffering from heart problems. It is now a period of over eight years that they have left home for the United Kingdom. Prince Raphael now decides to call home.)
ACT FOUR SCENE TWO
NARRATOR: (PHONE CALL SESSION BETWEEN LIVERPOOL AND NIGERIA. THE TIME IS 6PM.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Her phone ringing; picks it.) Hello! Who is this?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: It is me, Mum. How is Dad?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Overjoyed though disappointed.) My Son, why did you do this to us? Your father and I have been searching everywhere for you without success. You were not even using your known phone number, Son. You did us a great wrong. How are you and where are you calling from?
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Mum, I’m sorry. I had to do what I did. I’m calling from Liverpool, United Kingdom. I am fine.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Your father is not feeling fine. He has heart problems.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Heart problems? Wait, I am in a hospital right now. Let me call a cardio-vascular surgeon who will talk with you. (He calls.) Doctor! Doctor! (Maid 2 answers from the bedroom.) Please, come and talk with my mum over my father’s heart condition.
BARIVURE: Good day, Madam.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Good day, Doctor.
BARIVURE: Madam, can you describe what you have been observing with your husband?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Yes, he is having heart palpitations, shortness of breath, weakness, dizziness, lightheadedness, confusion, chest pain, reduced ability to exercise, cold sweat, back and arm pains.
BARIVURE: How long have these been going on, Madam?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Over a year now, though it became more serious just two days ago.
BARIVURE: A case of long-standing atrial fibrillation is suspected, Madam. However, there is the need to conduct an electrocardiogram on him to determine whether it is actually atrial fibrillation or another heart rhythm disorder (arrhythmia). I suggest you talk with your son on how to bring him down here at the Royal Liverpool University Hospital. This has to be done fast before it complicates into life-threatening ischaemia. Have a nice and a won….
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Interposing; entreating.) Please! Please! Doctor, do not hang up. What do you mean by ‘life-threatening ischaemia’? I hope the case of my husband is not pathetic?
BARIVURE: Oh, Madam! Ischaemia happens when artery that carries blood from the heart to the body organs is partly or wholly blocked. You know that food nutrients, oxygen, water, antibodies, hormones, salts, vitamins etc, which are very important for the survival of the body, are contained in the blood that is transported from the heart to the various tissues and organs of the body through arteries. So when these organs do not receive them due to the partial or complete blockage of arteries, they become starved and start the relatively rapid process of dying.
Ischaemia becomes life-threatening if one or more arteries are completely blocked or two or more arteries are almost completely blocked.
So, you see, it is paramount that his case receives proper and urgent attention. Have a nice day, Madam. (She hands over the phone to her husband, smiling broadly).
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Mum, I overheard the doctor talking with you. Bring Dad immediately to Liverpool on the next available flight. I will be at the Liverpool John Lennon Airport to welcome you.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Okay, Son. I will make the preparations right away. We shall be in Liverpool tomorrow. Bye Son, I love you.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Bye Mum, I love you too. I am expecting you.
NARRATOR: (Both end the call. Maid 2 hurriedly embraces her husband. Both kiss each other in an atmosphere of fulfillment. Meanwhile, Queen Biabekee is at the other end, making arrangement for flying her ailing husband – the king, to Liverpool the following day for proper medical attention)
ACT FOUR SCENE THREE
NARRATOR: (AT THE ROYAL LIVERPOOL UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL, LIVERPOOL, KING KABAKA HAS JUST BEEN FLOWN IN AND ADMITTED. HE IS FLANKED BY NURSES AND LABORATORY SCIENTISTS, VARIOUSLY TAKING SAMPLES FOR LABORATORY ANALYSIS, GIVING FIRST AID, OBSERVING HIS STATE, RENDERING ASSISTANCE, ETC. THE TIME IS NOW 3:25 PM. ENTER ANNE RICHARD– A NURSE.)
ANNE: Sir, don’t worry, your dad will be fine. Madam, never mind, within few minutes, the test results will be out and everything…
NARRATOR: (Enter Maid 2 dressed properly in the manner of a surgeon, ready to enter the theatre with surgical mask on).
BARIVURE: (Directing.) Anne, relocate the patient to the Executive Private Ward I immediately.
ANNE: Executive Private Ward I?
BARIVURE: Yes and be fast about it. (Anne takes up the directive immediately.)
NARRATOR: (Maid 2 dashes off. Gberemene Kabaka is transferred immediately to the Executive Private Ward I – a ward perfectly furnished with the state- of- the- art facilities. Within minutes, William Roberts – a laboratory scientist, gives a copy of the test result to Queen Biabekee and another to Maid 2 while the third is filed. Within seconds, Maid 2 re-enters).
BARIVURE: Please, Sir and Madam, you may give us chance now for his treatment. Just enter the waiting room opposite you there. Your meal is served.
NARRATOR: (Prince Raphael and Queen Biabekee leave. Within seconds, they are served with a perfectly-prepared African meal – Okazi soup with eba).
QUEEN BIABEKEE: What a nice woman!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: I think she really is. (Both discuss at length and share pleasant memories. After about four hours, Maid 2 comes to meet them).
BARIVURE: Sir and Madam, thanks be to the Almighty God. The surgery was successful. However, you cannot see him now. He is sleeping. You will see him tomorrow.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Thanks, Doctor, for saving my dad’s life.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: What actually was wrong with my husband, Doctor?
BARIVURE: Madam, I have another patient to attend to right now. I will be less busy in a couple of days and I promise to tell you everything you need to know. Please, bear with me. Meanwhile, I think you should need to bathe now. Every facility here is for your use. In case of anything, let me know through Nurse Anne with the patient. I leave now. (She leaves).
QUEEN BIABEKEE: What a good woman!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: You really like the doctor, Mum.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: What I feel for her is more than mere likeness. I love her passionately. I wish I had studied Medicine and Surgery and not the Business Administration I did.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Mum, every course is relevant to the society.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Yes, I know, Son, but that doctor makes me have a special fancy for Medicine. I think she is the kind of wife every responsible man should aim to marry and not that…( sighs, faces away).
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Haa! Mum, you are going too far with this your obsession with a Liverpool doctor you meet just today.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: It is true, Son, but at least I have expressed my unfeigned whim.
NARRATOR: (Both discuss, have their baths, watch the television and sleep. The following morning Maid 2 comes to check the patient who is now awake and is gradually recuperating. She orders that they be fed. She does the same in the afternoon and the evening and up to the fourth day after the operation. With proper attention, Gberemene Kabaka is recuperating fast. It is now evening of the fourth day after operation. Maid 2 enters as usual).
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Thank you so much, Doctor. May the Almighty God reward you for saving my life. (Maid 2 smiles.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Thanks, Precious Doctor. May goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your life. (Maid 2 smiles).
ALL: Aaa……meee………nn!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Doctor, my family will be missing a good-hearted person like you. Thanks a million times, Doctor. (She smiles).
QUEEN BIABEKEE: Ehenn! Doctor, what actually happened to my husband? Remember, you promised letting me know.
BARIVURE: Oh, that? He had a case of atrial fibrillation caused by extreme hypertension (168/110 mmHg), heart attack and coronary artery disease. This made electrical signals fire from multiple locations in his atria causing them to beat chaotically. His atrioventricular node was unable to prevent all these chaotic signals from entering the ventricles.
The Atrioventricular Node serves as the body’s electrical relay station, slowing the electrical current sent by the sinoatrial node before the signal is permitted to pass down through to the ventricles. That delay would have ensured that the atria have the opportunity to fully contract before the ventricles are stimulated. So his ventricles responded by beating faster than normal - 171 beats per minute. Normal heart beat, Madam, is between 60 to 100 beats per minute.
We have successfully reduced his blood pressure. It is now 115/76 mmHg. With our state-of-the-art defibrillator, we have successfully done the defibrillation. Now the heart has returned to its normal rhythm. We have done the Coronary Artery Bypass Graft Surgery (CABGS) to correct the coronary artery problem, taking care of the myocardial infarction and the ischaemia diagnosed. There is now normal blood supply to the muscles.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: So, Doctor, what other things can cause this kind of sickness my husband experienced?
BARIVURE: Other contributory factors to Atrial Fibrillation, Myocardial Infarction and Coronary Artery Disease include: (1) stress due to pneumonia (2) viral infection (3) overactive thyroid gland (4) sleep apnea (5) cholesterol-rich foods (6) sick sinus syndrome (7) smoking (8) diabetes etc.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: So, is there any advice you need to offer him?
BARIVURE: Oh yes!: (1) Exercise daily (2) live normal, stress-free life (3) learn to delegate duties more (4) Relax, rest and sleep often (5) Avoid anger and sudden quick change of temper or mood (6) Eat less of carbohydrate and red-meat protein. Eat more of green vegetables, fruits and nuts and drink more clean water at room temperature level (7) take your drugs as recommended (8) regularly go for medical check-up (9) above all, go closer to God.
The place of nutrition in ensuring proper cardiac health cannot be overemphasized. Eat foods rich in Omega 3 fatty acids since the body is incapable of producing them on its own. Such foods include: cod liver oil, wild salmon, herring, sardines, liver, linseeds, pecans, hazelnuts, walnuts, almonds, mackerel, shell fishes (oyster, clam, mussel, periwinkle, crab etc), flaxseeds, caviar, soy beans etc. Omega 3 is very essential for the proper development and functioning of your heart, brain and joints. It calms the nerves and keeps insomnia at bay. It lowers blood pressure, hence keeping cerebro-vascular accident in check.
Eat more of oatmeal, blueberries, coffee, red wine, green tea, dark chocolate, raisins, broccoli, Brussels sprout, cauliflower, grape, avocado, olive oil, whole grain, citrus, apples, strawberries, raspberries, spinach, red peppers, leek, mustard etc. Many of these and other fruits and vegetables are natural anti-oxidants which prevent, remove and / or paralyse free radicals in the body. Free radicals arise from the oxidation of other molecules.
These fruits and vegetables contain phytochemicals which are non-nutritive plant chemicals that have protective or disease-preventive properties.
There are more than a thousand phytochemicals. Examples are the alkaloids, which stimulate the central nervous system, respiration, blood circulation and increase the circulation and oxidation of fatty acids. Examples of alkaloids are caffeine, theobromine (mainly found in cocoa) and theophyline (mainly found in tea).
Anthocyanins like cyanidin and malvidin are anti-artherosclerotic, anti-inflammatory, anti-cancerous and anti-oxidant.
Carotenoids are anti-aging, anti-cancerous and anti-oxidant phytochemicals. They include: beta-carotene, lutein and lycopene in tomatoes.
Isoflavones like daidzein and genistein, found in soy, are known to be a great reducer of cholesterol.
The flavonoids, which are found in almost all fruits and vegetables, are found to be anti-allergic, anti-cancerous, anti-inflammatory, anti-viral and anti-oxidant.
The stylbenes like resveratrol has anti-cancer properties and helps prevent damage to DNA. It also protects the heart and blood vessels by directly scavenging oxidants which could cause oxidation of lipids. It could also lower platelet aggregation which is a contributory factor to artherosclerosis.
Pterostilbene is an anti-inflammatory oxidant which may lower cholesterol levels and reduce plague formation.
Many also belong to the xanthophylls group and contain beta-cryptoxanthin, Astaxanthin, Spirulina etc which boost the immune system, protect cell membranes and cellular DNA from mutation.
There are many more other phytochemicals. Nothing gives immunity to the body than fruits and vegetables and taking a great deal of different varieties and species of them, ceteris paribus, increases health and living.
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Doctor, you have been so good to us. I never knew we still have kind-hearted doctors on the surface of this earth. So, how much is our bill?
BARIVURE: Nothing! Everything has been taken care of.
NARRATOR: (Queen Biabekee and her husband look at each other, dumbfounded.)
GBEREMENE KABAKA: You mean my heart surgery in an Executive Private Ward in a first-rate British hospital and a grade-one lecture on healthy living have been taken care of? By who?
(She only laughs, making them the more surprised and confused).
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Recovering a little.) Please, Doctor, you have been speaking with us with your full surgical kit on. At least, remove the surgical mask that we may see the face of the wonderful doctor that saved the life of my husband, the King of Bara Eesaa Kingdom. (Maid 2 hesitates).
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Please, my daughter let us know you more. At least, we can be family friends for life. Oh, I wish you were my daughter or my daughter-in-… (Remembering something; sighs. Maid 2 hesitates).
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Please, Doctor, none of us will be happy if we cannot identify the person that saved the life of the most important man in our lives.
BARIVURE: If you want me to show myself, call in the other members of your entourage.
NARRATOR: (They happily call in Chief Kobaa, Guard 1, Driver 1 and Maid 1. She removes the other kits first, then the surgical mask last. Behold she is the Maid 2. She smiles broadly and cheerfully, her pure white eyes and teeth, chocolate skin, right height, dimply cheeks, sizeable breasts, large hip with round buttocks make her a paragon of African beauty. Everybody except Prince Raphael is confused and dumbfounded.)
ALL: (In unison) Whaaat! Maid 2?
CHIEF KOBAA: Wonders shall never end in this life. Am I day-dreaming?
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Recovering gradually.) You mean, you – Maid 2, that I know, is the same doctor who did the cardiac surgery of my dying husband? Wonders really shall never end!
NARRATOR: (She thinks momentarily, feels utterly guilty as each episode of her callousness towards her in the past unfolds. She breaks down, kneels before her and cries bitterly despite her entreating not to.)
QUEEN BIABEKEE: No! No! I am a sinner? You are righteous! Please, forgive me. I have wronged you before God and men. I do not deserve your forgiveness but just do it for the sake of God. (Cries so bitterly; Maid 2 hugs her so dearly).
GBEREMENE KABAKA: You mean, you, the Maid 2 that was my servant, are not only a doctor but a specialist cardiologist cum vascular surgeon in a first-rate British hospital as prominent as the Royal Liverpool University Hospital? The same lady I callously treated is the same person that saved my life? (Kneels tearfully; sobs soberly). Forgive me! Forgive me, my daughter. Pleeaasse! (He is conspicuously remorseful – the mien of a self-condemned man). May God forgive me. I never knew that life is deeper than I thought. (Sobs bitterly. Maid 2 leaves the queen to console him). Today, I learn a bitter lesson at age sixty seven – a lesson so bitter for me to swallow. Oh! Oh! Oh! I wish I could rewind the calendar!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Dad and Mum, I saw something in this young lady here which none of you saw; so I quickly grabbed her before I would lose her.
I sent her first to the Newcastle University, where she studied Medicine and Surgery and then to the University of Liverpool, where she specialized in Cardio-vascular Surgery.
As you know, Dad, she is the first UK- trained female specialist cardiologist in the whole of our state. Now, apart from other allowances, her monthly salary alone is £8,325.55, that is currently about N14,985,990.00 at N1,800.00 to a Pounds Sterling - the highest salaried woman in the whole of our kingdom.
BARIVURE: You call me Maid 2. My real maiden name was Miss Barivure Lekaaga Barima. Now that I am legally married to your son, I am now Mrs. Barivure Raphael Nengiaa Kabaaka, if it is your will now, that I bear your name.
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (Rises from the floor and hugs her so tightly; tearfully.) Barivure, my daughter that I never had, my daughter-in-law, my hope, my life, my joy. (Cries again so bitterly then stops abruptly, looks straight into her eyes and solemnly utters). May goodness always follow you all the days of your life. May peace, good health and prosperity be your portion. May God bless the day you were born and the woman that gave birth to you.
Your name means, “God loves.” May God continue to love you in this life and in the life to come, forever and ever and ever again, in Jesus’ name.
ALL: Aaa meeen!
PRINCE RAPHAEL: Mum, Dad and workers, one more thing. (He goes out and within two minutes brings in little Master Godswill). God has blessed us with little Master Godswill Kakuubari Raphael Nengiaa Kabaka. (Everybody is overjoyed. The Queen rushes for the baby, cuddles him motherly).
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Son, you have done perfectly. In fact, you… (Changes his mind as if inspired; orders). Guard 1, bring in my full royal regalia and paraphernalia. (He brings them. He wears them and sits in the manner of a king). I, HRH, Gberemene Longinus Faanagii Nengiaa Kabaka IX, king of Bara Eesaa kingdom, acting upon the powers bestowed upon me by God and men as the king of Bara Eesaa kingdom, call upon the Almighty God and our ancestors to witness what I am about to do now. (Calls.) Vamene, come and sit at my left here.
First, I accept and welcome little Master Godswill into the Kabaka family as the Crown Prince of Bara Eesaa kingdom. (He hits his staff on the floor solemnly).
ALL: Ii see!
GBEREMENE KABAKA: Next, I accept you today, Barivure Raphael Nengiaa Kabaka, first as my daughter, which I never had and secondly as my daughter-in-law, the wife of my wise son, Prince Raphael and thirdly as the defacto queen of Bara Eesaa kingdom. (He hits his staff on the floor, more solemnly).
ALL: Iiii seeeee!
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Sternly.) I need rest, Son. Therefore, I hand over the mantle of leadership of Bara Eesaa kingdom to you today as the de facto king, in the order of HRH, Gberemene Raphael Menebe Faanagii Nengiaa Kabaka X, in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit, our ancestors and palace workers here present witnessing. (He hits the staff this time so violently on the floor).
ALL: Iiiii ssseeeeeeeeee!
GBEREMENE KABAKA: (Sternly, in a mood depicting finality. To Prince Raphael.) Arrange with your wife as soon as possible the dates for the child naming ceremony, traditional marriage and coronation. (Faces Barivure). Barivure, my daughter, my pearl, my human saviour; may thunder strike me dead ten times and over if I don’t make your traditional marriage the type that people will talk about its grandeur even centuries after. Your coronation shall be unparalleled.
I bank with the United Bank for Africa. That is where my treasure is and that is where my heart is too, after heaven. I choose the bank due to their credibility, professionalism, pragmatism and excellence in service. UBA gives me rest of mind and I recommend it to any right-thinking human being that cares about his investment, state of mind and future. But I won’t mind emptying both my UBA current and savings accounts - my life savings, to make your coronation and traditional marriage second to none in Nigeria.
I won’t stop there, my dear. I shall make sure that the GMD, UBA and indeed, the UBA family, especially the erudite Chairman himself, Tony Onyemaechi Elumelu, the world-acclaimed philanthropist, the Pride of Nigeria and the Hope of Africa, grace the occasion.
Also in attendance shall be top government officials, business tycoons, top traditional and religious leaders, the academia, the literati and professional ‘heavy-weights’. May the anger of God fall on me a hundred times and over, if I don’t give you the queenly treatment that you deserve on your coronation day with my son. (He hits his staff on the floor as a sign for the earth to witness the oath taken).
ALL: Iiiii ssssseeeeeeee!
QUEEN BIABEKEE: (In extra-joyful mood with little Master Godswill in her arms, sings, others echo).
Bari-a oro ne nvin nen, God that gives children,
O naam le. Oozaa. You have done me well. Thank you.
NARRATOR: (They sing and dance to their fullest satisfaction. Light fades.)
EPILOGUE
NARRATOR: With proper medical attention, Gberemene Kabaka is recuperating fast. It is now the 12th day after the surgery. He is flown back to Nigeria in company of Prince Raphael. The joy of the people of Bara Eesaa knows no bounds as they receive their precious king, who they have missed for about two weeks and their amiable prince, who for the previous eight years, they have not seen.
The marriage and coronation ceremonies are now planned. Saturday: traditional marriage at Bon Saakee – Barivure’s community; Sunday - wedding ceremony and dedication/presentation of little Master God’swill Kakuubari Raphael Nengiaa Kabaka at the St. James Catholic Church, Bon Ka. Both ceremonies are unprecedented – one in a million. The king actually makes do his oath. It will take decades if not centuries to have another like them. The crème-de-la-crème of the society has no option but to weather the storm and grace the occasions.
The next Saturday is the coronation at the Bon Ka Civic Centre. An estimated seventy thousand guests grace the occasion. It is shown live on ten radio and eight television stations, including Radio Nigeria and NTA.
The chain of events coupled with their publicity as well as the publicity of Barivure while in Liverpool as the Nigerian specialist cardiologist, who dares tread where whites dread, excelling and handling even the most delicate cardiac surgeries, which is phenomenal, make six first-grade Nigerian hospitals – The Abuja Clinics; The University of Port Harcourt Teaching Hospital; The National Hospital, Abuja; The University of Lagos Teaching Hospital; Braithwaite Memorial Specialist Hospital, Port Harcourt and The University of Benin Teaching Hospital, jostle one another and scamper the palace, for her service.
Barivure wishes she could, just like amoeba, fission, but into six and not its usual two, and serve the six health institutions that desperately need her service at the same time. But since she cannot, she decides working with the University of Port Harcourt Teaching Hospital, just about six kilometres as the crow flies from Bara Eesaa kingdom.
The people of Bara Eesaa rejoice. Gokana people are happy. Rivers people brag of her – “that is a true Rivers woman,” they say. Nigerians hail her – “no, she is first, a Nigerian,” they retort.
Oh, what a worthy life! Oh, what a real beauty! Oh, what a perfect queen! Oh, Oh, Oh, what a real woman! Hmmmmm!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Giayeetor Dumbari Patah is a seasoned educationist – a savant of Political Science, Public Administration and International Relations; a literally icon, essayist, composer and a professional administrator. He is a native of B. Dere in Gokana Local Government Area of Rivers State.
He was educated at the Abia State University, Uturu, Abia State, where he had his First Degree in Government and Public Administration; National Teacher’s Institute (NTI), Kaduna, where he had his Post-graduate Diploma in Education (PGDE) and the Universty of Port Harcourt, where he had his Master’s Degree in Political and Administrative Studies with specialization in International Relations.
The author is the Director, Wonderful Children Academy, Alesa, Eleme, Rivers State – a private nursery and primary school. He is also the Head of Department of Government, Community Senior Secondary School, Mogho, Gokana, Rivers State.
His books include: – (1) Not Of The Same World (2) The Afternoon Dreamer (3) Fake Prophet – plays (4) Almost Buried Alive – a novel. The author publishes his works which include books, essays, compositions, articles etc on his literally blog, "The Literati,” with the name, Giayeetor Dumbari Patah. My blog address is dumbarigiayeetor.blogspot.com. The other is dumbaripatah.blogspot.com, where he publishes English with the blog name "Master Sound English".
The author believes that Literature should be used stealthily to broaden the horizon of knowledge in its entirety, not just for entertainment. He is very passionate about the young ones of the society taking their studies seriously.
His contacts include: E mail: dgiayeetor@yahoo.com; giayeetord@gmail.com.
Telephone numbers: +234(0)8067971628; +234(0)9016427083.
On Facebook, he is Dumbari Giayeetor; on Instagram: Giayeetor Dumbari Patah.
For Whatsapp, use +234(0)8067971628 – the main contact number.
Comments
Post a Comment